Baer: Of clocks, 'Looney Tunes', pigeons and porn

SO, I CONSULT the calendar of celestial events, phases of the moon and meteor showers, seeking signs to help explain happenings in Harrisburg.

All I find is that the moon just reached its shallowest northern declination for the year.

So, I'm going with that. Because things seem shallower than normal and we're surrounded by decline.

Just a few examples:

While watching the Kansas City Royals last week roll toward their first American League pennant in 29 years, I receive an 11:15 p.m. email from the office of Republican Senate Majority Leader Dominic Pileggi.

It says that the Senate, in session at the time, isn't debating whether to suspend its rule about not debating after 11 p.m.; it's debating whether to adopt a resolution that "sets forth the need" to debate after 11 p.m.

Ohh-kay.

(The 11 p.m. stuff is a "reform" from the noxious, later repealed, 16 percent to 34 percent pay raise that passed at 2 a.m. without debate in 2005. Now they can't do under-cover-of-darkness deeds - unless they decide they can. Long live "reform.")

I click on PCN to see the debate, which went on for some time. I wonder how many, if any, senators realize that their debate over whether to debate after 11 p.m. is taking place well after 11 p.m.

I wonder this because the Senate seems squirrelly.

It just, for example, voted to protect pigeons from pigeon shoots, a popular pastime in parts of Pennsylvania, and also to ban eating cats and dogs, which must be a preemptive safeguard since there won't be all those shot pigeons to pick from.

Meanwhile, it rejected Philly Democratic Sen. Larry Farnese's effort to up the sentence for illegally carrying a firearm in the city to a mandatory two years.

"So the majority party has voted to protect pigeons," Farnese says, "and not the people of Philadelphia."

Oh, and it voted to let the NRA sue Philly or any municipality (and collect legal fees and damages) over local gun laws, such as requiring reporting lost or stolen firearms - a green light to lock and litigate.

And all this gun stuff happens as the Capitol buzzes about a shoot-out involving Democratic Reps. Marty Flynn, of Scranton, and Ryan Bizzarro, of Erie - and, yes, his name is Bizzarro, I'm not making it up.

Anyway, these two were accosted at gunpoint by late-night thugs in Harrisburg. Flynn, a former prison guard, drew his 380 Smith & Wesson Bodyguard pistol and shots were fired: one by an assailant, two by Flynn.

Nobody was hit.

Flynn says there was no aiming: "It was a blur. . . . I was like Yosemite Sam from 'Looney Tunes.' "

I mention this mostly because I appreciate the honesty of any lawmaker who likens himself to any "Looney Tunes" character.

Speaking of which, our Supreme Court's porn war is now cartoonish.

Think "Spy vs. Spy" or "Itchy & Scratchy" in robes.

Chief Justice Ron Castille issues a statement saying that the court is reviewing "the matter" of Justice Seamus McCaffery's 234 porn emails.

McCaffery then apologizes for a "lapse in judgment" but further lapses by characterizing Castille as a liar, hypocrite and egomaniac.

Then Daily News colleague Chris Brennan reports that Justice Mike Eakin got explicit emails through a fake name on a Yahoo account.

Then Eakin says that McCaffery planted the story after threatening to do so unless Eakin got Castille to back off.

Then McCaffery "unequivocally" denies threatening Eakin or leaking his emails.

Whew. I'd say someone should bang the gavel, but on this court that sounds too suggestive.

So just stay tuned. I feel certain that more's on the way. A partial solar eclipse is due Thursday.

Blog: ph.ly/BaerGrowls

Columns: ph.ly/JohnBaer