Carol A. McElwee, 54, 'family CEO'

EVERY SUNDAY morning, Carol A. McElwee would show up at the home of one of her siblings bearing several newspapers turned to the crossword puzzle pages.

Over coffee, doughnuts, bagels and orange juice, she and whichever sibling she was visiting and their children would do the puzzles in the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Los Angeles Times and the Philadelphia Inquirer.

It was one of the ways that Mary Carol bonded with her brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, her own two sons and her parents. Her devotion to all family members was the stuff of legend.

Imagine writing personal notes and cards to 13 siblings and 42 nieces and nephews, not to mention her sons, assorted cousins and friends, on every birthday and holiday.

Just keeping track of all those birthdays would be a herculean task for most ordinary mortals, but Mary Carol's devotion had no limits.

Mary Carol McElwee, who was nearly as valuable to the Lockheed Martin Corp. in King of Prussia as she was to her family, died Tuesday after a long and courageous battle with cancer. She was 54 and lived in East Fallowfield Township, Chester County.

At Lockheed, she was a manager in the corporation's information-technology department, where she directed teams of people for a company that employs 167,000 worldwide.

"There wasn't much she hadn't done in information technology for Lockheed," her family said.

Mary Carol was born in Philadelphia, the oldest of the 14 children of Joseph F. McElwee and the former Therese Pereyra. She grew up in Merion Station and attended St. Matthias Parochial School, in Bala Cynwyd. She graduated from Archbishop Carroll High School, in Radnor, in 1972.

She took a job as a teller at Beneficial Bank to help pay her way through St. Joseph's University, where she studied accounting. She graduated magna cum laude in 1980.

She worked in accounting for the Du Pont Co., in Delaware, for a time before going with Lockheed Martin.

As the "family CEO," as her sister Rosemarie Console put it, Mary Carol was the one who planned, organized and directed the many family gatherings - holiday parties, weddings, christenings, barbecues, etc.

"Imagine, a gathering of McElwees could be 100 people of all ages and sizes," her sister said. "She always arrived three to four hours early to help the host or hostess cook, bake, organize, or she would just sit there and be present for them."

Mary Carol delighted in teaching her nieces and nephews how to cook. She would get them to prepare special dinners for their grandparents - "Maman and Pop."

"She would don them in aprons and chef hats and oven mitts, have them prepare everything, serve it up in a candlelight atmosphere, and say 'bon appétit' to their grandparents," her sister said.

Besides her family, Mary Carol cherished her old friends. Some of her best friends were those she knew from the playground of St. Matthias School 50 years ago.

Mary Carol was born on Oct. 9, 1954, the Feast of the Rosary. She died on Sept. 8, the Feast of the Nativity of Mary.

Besides her sister and parents, she is survived by her sons, Michael L. Surtees and Anthony J. Zaikoski; six brothers, Joseph F., Michael A., Martin J., John P., William C. and Thomas E.; five other sisters, Therese M. McElwee, Grace Ann Coleman, Donna M. Georgescu, Lisanne M. Balady and M. Noelle Hildreth, and a grandson, Patrick Anthony Zaikoski. She was predeceased by anther brother, Gerald A. McElwee.

Services: Funeral Mass 11 a.m. tomorrow at St. Norbert Church, 50 Leopard Road, Paoli. Friends may call at 6 tonight at the D'Anjolell Memorial Home, 2811 West Chester Pike, Broomall.

Donations may be made to the American Cancer Society, 1615 West Chester Pike, Suite 102, West Chester PA 19382, or the Maryknoll Sisters, Box 311, Maryknoll NY 10545-0311.