Nicholas M. D'Alessandro, 81, Common Pleas Court judge for 24 years

IT WAS a decision nobody should have to make.

But the judge had no choice. The life or death of a woman suffering from amyotropic lateral sclerosis, paralyzed, in constant pain and begging to die, was his decision alone.

It was probably the toughest call that Common Pleas Judge Nicholas M. D'Alessandro would ever have to make.

After interviewing the woman, Thelma Stussy, 51, who could only blink her eyes and nod, in her room at the Neumann Medical Center in Kensington, along with members of her family, he ruled in April 1990 that the hospital could turn off the respirator that was keeping her alive.

Nicholas D'Alessandro, a much honored Philadelphia judge for 24 years, a community activist, proud son of Manayunk, and devoted family man, died Saturday of complications of a stroke. He was 81 and lived in Manayunk.

Although the decision to honor the wishes of Thelma Stussy, suffering from what is commonly called Lou Gehrig's disease, might have been his most emotionally wrenching, he heard cases that ran the full gamut of criminal and civil topics that define the judicial world of a big city.

Many of them made headlines, like monitoring the National Football League players' strike in 1987 when replacement players were hired, hearing the dispute between the city and the Eagles over obligations under the lease for Veterans Stadium.

He also presided over the lawsuit between the Philadelphia Zoo and the company that owned and operated the monorail, the issue being the saftey of the overhead rail line.

But one of D'Alessandro's proudest accomplishments was his part in the battle to keep his cherished alma mater, Roman Catholic High School, open after the Philadelphia Archdiocese decided to close it in 1985.

D'Alessandro, as president of the Alumni Association, helped lead the fight to prevent the closing, and succeeded in convincing Cardinal John Krol, then the archbishop, to keep it open. It is thriving today.

"He was kind, generous and compassionate," said his daughter, Kara Bielli. "He was a perfect judge, so fair and compassionate. People felt comfortable in his courtroom."

Kara noted that her father finished his career as a Family Court judge, in which he worked with families to benefit children who were brought before the court.

"He thought it would be a good way to end his career, taking care of children," his daughter said.

D'Alessandro was proud of being from Manayunk. In an Inquirer article in 1990, writer Ginny Wiegand wrote that he pronounced Hermitage Street, where he grew up and lived, "Hermi-taige."

"When he goes shopping along Ridge Avenue, he heads 'up the Ridge,' " Wiegand wrote. "Playground sliding boards are 'Kelly boards,' and ants are 'antemeyers.' And to those who say otherwise, he jokes, 'You talk funny.' "

D'Alessandro had a rich sense of humor. His daughter recounted that her father and some colleagues in the court system started an imaginary "Nice Guys Club" and tried to solicit members. The joke was that they couldn't find any.

D'Alessandro was born in Philadelphia to Nicholas S. D'Alessandro, an immigrant from Abruzzi, Italy, and Nancy DiGiovanni. They operated a tavern on Hermitage Street and their children, including the future judge, lived above it.

"It was a nice neighborhood taproom," D'Alessandro once said.

D'Alessandro graduated from Roman Catholic in 1952, and went on to Temple University Law Schoolm, graduating in 1959. He practiced law until his election to Municipal Court in 1977. He also served as an assistant city solicitor and member of the city's Tax Review Board.

In 1964, he married Elizabeth McHenry after meeting her while vacationing in Margate, N.J.

He was elected to the Common Pleas Court in 1979. In his retention votes in 1989 and 1999, he received the most votes of any of the jurists up for retention. He retired in 2003.

D'Alessandro was a longtime coach in the 21st Ward Baseball League, was a founding member of the Cor Mariae Knights of Columbus Council, of which he was a 4th Degree Knight. He was a founding member of the Greater Roxborough Lodge of the Order Sons of Italy in America. He was a member of the executive committee of the 21st Ward Democratic Committee.

In 2003, the law firm of Drinker, Biddle & Reath honored him for his dedication and service to the Family Court.

Besides his wife and daughter, he is survived by a son, Nicholas M. D'Alessandro Jr., a Philadelphia lawyer; another daughter, Teresa Gault; a sister, Corinne O'Leary, and six grandchildren.

Services: Funeral Mass 10 a.m. Thursday at Holy Family Church, 234 Hermitage St. Friends may call at 7 p.m. tomorrow at Koller Funeral Home, 6835 Ridge Ave., and at 9 a.m. Thursday at the funeral home. Burial will be at Calvary Cemetery.

Donations may be made to the Roman Catholic Alumni Association, 301 N. Broad St., Philadelphia, 19107.