Fatimah Ali: Brains, beauty & strength

IT'S OFTEN said that if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

That truth reminds me why I love strong women who speak their minds - and that includes one who has just lost her last fight, and one who represents the perfect definition of a survivor.

Sassy both on stage and in person, the legendary Lena Horne was funny and quick and not the snob I expected when I met her decades ago. I was mesmerized by her beauty and the kind, gentle spirit that remained even though she had to battle so much racism throughout her career.

Horne paved the way for many of today's black actresses, like Halle Berry, who praised her during her Oscar acceptance speech for "Monster's Ball," and Pam Grier, who was in Philadelphia last week promoting her new memoir, "Foxy: My Life in Three Acts."

Tearing down the Hollywood myth that black women couldn't sell a movie took decades, and although the roles played by Horne and Grier are as different as night and day, they each succeeded in laying a new foundation for actresses of color.

But they also paid a huge personal price for their successes.

In 1981, when I met the legendary Lena, who died over the weekend at age 92, she was making a comeback with her one-woman show, "Lena Horne, the Lady and Her Music."

I was just getting my feet wet in journalism and was thrilled to be in her dressing room. I had been sternly instructed by a mentor to ask only one question, and decided to make it playful.

Putting aside the serious topics, I wondered if she thought my mother looked like her, which we were frequently told. Without missing a beat, she looked at the photo I whipped out of my purse, and said, "Your mother is very beautiful, and, yes, I do see a resemblance."

"Guess it's a good thing she can't sing or act," I quipped, "or you may have had more competition." She threw back her head and, after her delicious throaty laugh, she said, "You should hold onto that razor tongue of yours because you're going to need it in your profession."

She was warm and gracious, and decidedly not the ice queen I'd anticipated - and I've never forgotten her advice.

Although the type of movie roles they played couldn't be more different, Horne and Grier were warrior-women for their time. Horne helped integrate the silver screen and Grier destroyed the myth that beautiful women can't also be strong.

Like many of the women who crammed into the African American Museum in Philadelphia for Grier's book-signing last week, I admired them both, but not necessarily for their screen performances.

I liked Horne because she refused to renounce her race when it would have been much easier for her to pass as white. And even though her career took a big hit because of her liberal ideals, and she was blacklisted during the McCarthy era for alleged associations with the Communist Party, she never backed down from her left-leaning politics.

I admire Grier, but not because of the success she had in the "blaxploitation" films that changed the movie industry. Or the fabulous body she still has at age 60 after beating cancer, or her infamous bare-it-all shots in Players magazine. And not because of her romances with superstars like basketball great Kareem Abdul Jabbar or comedian Richard Pryor.

As with Horne, I've always admired Grier because she took control of her life.

She has never let anyone tell her which roles to play, or how she should spend her money, preferring her Colorado ranch with her rescue dogs and horses over diamonds, and working out instead of doing drugs and booze. I look up to strong women who play by their own rules, yet never forget the power of their femininity.

Unfortunately, although women have made great strides, the fact remains that some like Grier still face the prospect of choosing men who ultimately feel threatened by them. It's a tragedy that so many men don't realize that being with a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman is really having the best of everything.

Fatimah Ali is a regular contributor to the Daily News, and blogs about food at healthysoutherncomforts.com.