Grandparents: More important than ever

GRANNY. Pop-Pop. Memaw. Papa. Nanny. YiaYia and Pappou.

Our pet names for our grandparents are one of those idiosyncrasies that mark our families as our own.

Both my grandfathers were gone by the time I was born, but the role my two grandmothers - Nanny Mac and Nanny Shea - played in my life more than made up for their absence.

Mine were the yin and yang of grandmothers: My maternal grandmother was sweet, an avid champion of her 13 grandkids, who made each kid believe he or she was the favorite (although really, I'm sure I was). She'd slip us money, in addition to the $5 bill that came in every birthday card. The story goes that on her deathbed, she reached somewhere deep into the sheets, pulled out a $10 bill and said, "Buy some treats for the kids."

My paternal grandmother was a different story: I'm convinced she originated the phrase "get out of my yard." She'd greet the receipt of every gift with, "What am I going to do with this?" Over the years, I managed to find a way to charm her - mainly by teasing her mercilessly about what a crank she was, or pretending I was crankier than her. But she, like my other grandmother, exerted a powerful influence on me that still holds, despite the fact they're both long gone.

It's a rare grandparent who isn't a family jewel: They teach us, nurture us, spoil us, champion us. We confide in them and, often, we feel that they're the only members of our family who truly "get" us. They're often the sole family members who provide ballast in family dynamics that can be fraught with drama or chaos. They're unabashed in their love for us, and they somehow remain politically neutral in the mess of family life. If Switzerland had a cheerleading squad, it would be our grandparents.

So I hope that Sunday, which is officially National Grandparents Day, ultimately becomes more important than the other semifake holidays whose category G-Day shares - those orphan holidays that don't have their own Hallmark section.

The changing nature of the grandparent population, as measured by recent studies, including a 2011 study from MetLife, suggests that G-Day may soon carry the commercial and emotional power that Mother's and Father's Days do.

Grandparents have played a key role in family life probably forever. The introduction of Social Security and Medicare ensured that fewer of them would become a burden to their families; gradually, they became a resource.

The census only started collecting data on grandparents in 2001. The MetLife report estimates 65 million people were grandparents in 2010; most of them are between 45 to 64 and are still working. Better educated and better compensated than their forebears, they play a bigger part in the economic well-being of their families than ever before.

For example, the dollars that grandparents spent on child-related items like toys, infant clothes and equipment, and baby food reached $7.6 billion in 2009 - 71 percent more than in 1999. And they spent almost $2.5 billion on education for their grandchildren.

Grandparents have also been helping out their adult children and grandchildren during the recent recession. The most extreme end of that help is the number of households with children that are led by grandparents. The MetLife study found that 11 percent of grandparent households included at least one grandchild. Many of those households also included parents of the grandchild. That's a number that has risen as the economy has faltered.

I met a few of those grandparents earlier this year when I visited Grands As Parents, a group created to give support to the many grandparents in the city who are raising grandkids. Well past the age when they thought they'd be thinking about diapers and juice boxes - in fact, about the age when their pensions and Social Security are kicking in - grandparents like Jean Hackney, 68, and Eileen Brown, 80, have taken in households full of kids: toddlers, third-graders, teenagers.

The "grands," who are all volunteers, show indefatigable energy not only for their own charges, but for their cause - helping others in their situation.

Now, they field phone calls, hold meetings and organize food and clothing drives in part of a rented space. They'd like to create a place where multigenerational families can live together and help each other. They've been trying to sell city and state officials on the idea for years.

Grands As Parents doesn't get any state or city funding, so the group holds an annual fundraising lunch. It's tomorrow, but you don't have to go to lend support. You can send a check to Grands As Parents, 2227 N. Broad St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19121. You know your grandmother would want you to.