The following is a partial transcript of Mayor Nutter's most recent session with his psychiatrist.
P: You look tired.
N: I am tired.
P: Rough week?
N: How would you feel if somebody called you a "Little Caesar"?
P: What do you think was meant by that?
N: That I am a pompous, imperious, tactless jerk without even knowing it?
P: Bingo.
N: It really hurt my feelings.
P: We've been through this before. You're the mayor. All people want to do is hurt your feelings.
N: I liked it better when I was a councilman.
P: You had no responsibility as a councilman.
N: Everybody wants something from me now. When they don't get it, they get nasty. How would you feel if somebody called you a "Little Caesar"?
P: I believe you already said that.
N: Plus, the guy who said it, he has some nerve.
P: Who said this to you?
N: Willie Brown, the head of Local 234 of the Transport Workers Union. They're the ones who went on strike against SEPTA. Have you ever seen the guy?
P: Does he live in Chestnut Hill?
N: There are no black people in Chestnut Hill.
P: Then I haven't seen him. What does this Mr. Brown look like?
N: Like the offspring of two Mack trucks.
P: I'm sensing hostility.
N: He's so fat, he can't even use one of those extra-large seat belts on an airplane. They have to rope him in.
P: I am continuing to sense hostility.
N: When he checks in at the counter, they ask if he's flying coach or cargo.
P: Definite hostility.
N: When he goes through the metal detector, he gets stuck and has to be pried loose with the jaws. . . .
P: Remember what we have talked about, Michael? The importance of moving on. . . .
N: How would you feel if somebody called you a "Little Caesar"?
P: It now seems clear to me that this comment upset you.
N: Like, duh. . . .
P: I think we're personalizing again.
N: How would you feel if somebody . . .
P: For God's sake, would you just shut up already?
N: I'm sensing hostility.
P: What was the context in which this "Little Caesar" comment was made?
N: We were negotiating Monday night over a new contract. Gov. Rendell was there, and he was doing a pretty good job of getting Brown to settle without a strike. And I could just see the headline tomorrow - "Rendell Swings, Nutter Misses."
P: And that bothered you?
N: No, it made me feel great. . . .
P: Remember what we have said about Schadenfreude?
N: That it's for losers like John Street?
P: Exactly.
N: I figured I should say something. It was very brief.
P: What did you say?
N: I don't remember.
P: Michael . . .
N: It was just a little something.
P: Michael . . .
N: Fine. I told Brown he was so fat that we might as well tear down the Linc and use him as the stadium.
P: Is it your sense that was a productive thing to say?
N: It's the truth.
P: Michael . . .
N: I suppose not.
P: What happened after that?
N: For some reason, he got mad.
P: How did you respond?
N: I told him that while we were at it, we might as well tear down Citizens Bank Park and the Wachovia Center.
P: How do we feel about the productivity of that little remark?
N: He got even more angry and said there was now going to be a strike and that I was to blame for it.
P: How did that make you feel?
N: Lonely. Misunderstood. Confused. Lost. Searching for meaning in life.
P: We are just about out of time.
N: Something else happened.
P: Make sure you write out the check for the correct amount. You came up a little short last week.
N: Some Council members got mad because I cut mechanical leaf pickup this year.
P: You what?
N: It will save the city $400,000.
P: I'm sorry, Michael, but I can no longer see you.
N: I'll exempt Chestnut Hill.
P: Same time next week.