It is best to just leave the refreshments behind

Q: Recently, I attended a funeral and noticed that many people brought their Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts cups into the service. This seemed tacky to me. What's the etiquette on this?

- Elizabeth in New Jersey

A: It seems as if Americans (sometimes I'm guilty of this myself) can't go anywhere without their iced tea, bottled water, coffee, or energy bars. You can see people sipping, slurping, and munching at any venue. In churches, synagogues, schools, workplaces, and every meeting of more than two or three people, there seems to be food and drink.

I think funerals are clearly the place to draw the line. No one needs to drink coffee or tea while paying respects at a funeral or memorial service. In fact, it's not even legal to provide food or beverages in funeral homes in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and a few other states. And although many memorials are held in sanctuaries or even auditoriums, eating or drinking during the service should be avoided.

Funeralwise.com offers a good list of manners for funerals, including "leave that latte in the car." I agree. And don't worry: No one will become faint from hunger or lack of caffeine. I have yet to attend a memorial or funeral service that wasn't followed by coffee and food in abundance.

Q: My daughter is getting married later this year and would like to have a small rehearsal dinner with just the bridal party and immediate family. We have a very difficult relative coming from out of town for the wedding. Are we obligated to invite her to the dinner because she's an out-of-town guest?

- Anne in Pennsylvania

A: There is no hard and fast rule on who should be invited (or not invited) to a rehearsal dinner. The bride and groom should have the final say.

That being said, you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings (even those of the more challenging relatives), so politeness requires consistency. If it's just the bridal party and immediate family, that's fine. But it shouldn't be the bridal party, immediate family, and only those out-of-town guests you really like. It's fine to have a small affair and invite fewer people, but if you are having a larger party, you can't exclude one tough relative (though your daughter would not be the first person who had this thought).

Q: Several readers have asked what happened to replying "You're welcome" to a thank you instead of the newer substitute "No problem."

A: Good news: You are not the only ones troubled by the disappearance of "You're welcome," which, by the way, is the correct response to "Thank you." CBS News contributor Bill Flanagan wrote, "When did everyone born after 1980 decide that 'no problem' was interchangeable with 'You're welcome'? Who spread that virus?"