Brain cancer saps life
A victim can depart this world well before his actual death. And a family can only watch.
With the passing of Ted Kennedy, Americans have taken a moment to reflect on his career and legacy. Having worked for elected officials ranging from the late Sen. John Heinz to Rep. Jim Gerlach, I have had a lifetime of experience in government. And my fellow Republicans may be surprised to learn that the first time I worked my home precinct as a volunteer was for Kennedy's 1980 presidential candidacy.
But I will leave the political commentary to historians and Kennedy's colleagues. My observations come from another connection with the late senator: my brother's suffering and death from brain cancer.
Like other cancers, brain cancer tends to arrive suddenly and with little warning - frequently announced by an unexpected seizure. Like other cancers, it means fear and confusion for everyone involved.
Yet brain cancer is especially cruel. It saps a person's ability to be who he is. The patient and the family watch as the person they know disappears - often well before death arrives. The patient becomes unable to speak coherently or follow commands, even though he may remain physically able.
After a valiant 53-week battle against the disease, my younger brother died on Nov. 28, 2003. But my sister-in-law, their children, our mom, our youngest brother, and the rest of the family lost Gregg days or even weeks earlier. We watched an entrepreneur and optimist with indefatigable energy go from leading the conversations to following them to an empty stare. We watched with love, empathy, and helplessness.
Kennedy and his family had to go through all that. But they had to do it with the world watching and politicians speculating on who would succeed him. I do not know the Kennedys, but I am certain that they are exhausted and deeply saddened. How shocking - how frightening - it must have been for them to see this man who was larger than life go through such suffering and become totally dependent on others.
President Obama asked to visit the senator toward the end. My family and others who suffered through this could understand why the family declined. Not only would the visit have been very hard for the president - perhaps harder than he realized - but the senator was most likely already gone in many ways.
In May 2008, we all learned that Ted Kennedy had suffered a seizure and, shortly thereafter, that he had a malignant brain tumor. My family and others knew what that meant: There would be suffering. He would die. And he would leave his family long before he died.
By all accounts, the senator and his family handled this with grace and dignity. May he rest in peace, and may God hold the Kennedy family gently in his hands.