Big girl takes on skinny fashion world
By Debra D. Bass
St. Louis Post-Dispatch
(MCT)
Women like
She's 5-foot-2-inches tall, weighs 220 pounds and works at a national fashion magazine.
"I'm the biggest girl in the room," she said speaking by phone from her car in the
But, she's wonderfully cavalier about it.
"Honestly, I think everyone else thinks about it more than I do," she said. "And that's because they feel like they are the biggest girl in the room. If they can't squeeze into a size 2, they are like, 'I'm so fat.'"
This is something that often happens in front of Ashley, who would have trouble wearing a size 2 pant on her forearm. So the speaker will usually look sheepish and say something like, "I mean fat for me ... I didn't mean that ...", at which point Ashley usually stops them, shrugs it off and tells them that she understands.
And she does.
She may not have the ideal shape, but she harbors no illusions about it.
And that's exactly what got her noticed. While working at Marie Claire as an intern this summer, she ended up sharing a taxi with an editor one day. Ashley's style started a conversation. She explained that she is on a never-ending mission to look chic no matter what the scales say and she has to work harder at it than her thinner counterparts because she can't expect to find something fashionable and well fit without an effort.
Ashley said that she was just complaining a little, but it turned out to be her big break.
Now she writes a monthly column for the magazine called "Big Girl in a
Her first column addressed the grueling quest for the perfect pair of jeans. She included three of her favorites that work for up to a size 24. And I'd wager that that's the first time those digits have appeared on one of the magazine's fashion spreads unless it mentioned the model's age.
The article is surprisingly and admirably frank. Ashley doesn't just claim to be an expert, she offers her testimonial as an unashamed size 18: "I go through at least a few pairs of jeans every year, routinely wearing holes in the area where my thighs rub together."
Ashley wrote that "It's not easy being chic, but it's an epic struggle when you're a big girl."
She readily admits that she'd love to be thinner, but she loves junk food, too.
In the meantime, she says there's no reason why looking fashionable and feeling good about her body should be unattainable. Can you imagine the alternative of being miserable until further notice?
"Ideally, I'd like to be 150 or 160 pounds, which means I'd probably still be the heaviest woman in the office, and that's OK," Ashley said. "It's nothing I'm uncomfortable talking about. ... I published my weight in a national magazine."
Her self-awareness is a huge advantage because the biggest nemesis to women looking fashionable at their current size, whatever that might be, is usually a combination of depression and denial, she said.
Someone feels like they need to wait until they lose weight to shop or they won't buy their proper size because it's not a number they prefer.
Ashley isn't bragging when she says that she is "beyond all the size stuff."
"If it fits well, I'll get it," said Ashley, who has no qualms shopping in the women's department or even occasionally the maternity section because, "no one sees the label."
And even as I write those words, I know women who would rather wrap themselves in plastic wrap and sweat themselves into a size smaller than buy a nicely fit pair or slacks that had a "maternity" label.
Ashley said, "I've been with friends who will absolutely not buy a size 10 even though it fits perfectly, but when you get to be my weight, you forget what it says on the inside."
She explained that a great fitting shirt, pant, skirt, dress, whatever, is a luxury for a woman her size. A luxury she can't afford to pass up. And if her column can help other women see that, she's happy.
The more women in double-digit clothing sizes shop, the more likely the tide will turn, forcing designers to create fashionable, fitted clothing for plus-sized women.
"There are some people who say that if you make bigger clothes, then you're just promoting obesity, but the truth is that a lot of overweight girls eat out of depression or frustration," Ashley said.
She said that they realize that once they hit a certain weight, they are invisible in the world of high fashion. Some take this to mean that you just can't be attractive at that size, so why try. Ashley's on a quest to prove them wrong.
"I write a fashion column, period. We don't talk about weight loss, because we don't have fashion pages for skinny women that say, 'Make sure you don't throw up because being too skinny is bad,'" Ashley said.
She wants women to look in the mirror and make that next step to improving what they see. Today, that could start with a new outfit and maybe a new attitude.
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