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Paging Lud Wray ...

He was the coach of some truly poor Eagles teams in the 1930s.

ANYBODY GOT a number for Lud Wray?

He was the Eagles coach in 1934. Following three consecutive shutout losses, he rallied the Birds to a 64-0 win over the Cincinnati Reds, who had learned beforehand the team was folding.

* We dialed up Vegas Vic, who put down his turkey leg long enough to estimate that the Eagles will be anywhere between 14- to 16-point underdogs when they visit New England a week from Sunday.

Wait. They just gave up 45 to Tampa Bay and 45 to Detroit. What time do the sportsbooks open?

* The worst loss in Eagles history came in their very first game, when they were crushed by the Giants, 56-0, in 1933. Our man Lud was the coach. Spell his name backward to describe the 2015 Eagles offense.

* USC just called. They said no thanks, Chip.

* The worst Eagles loss since the merger came in 1972 when the Giants (grrrrr) again hammered the Birds, 62-10, in Yankee Stadium (on Nov. 26, by the way). New York backup QB Randy Johnson closed it out with three touchdowns and afterward apologized to Eagles coach Ed Khayat for the lopsided score. Talk about an indignity.

* Can't imagine the text messages flying between LeSean McCoy and DeSean Jackson.

* A fake Donald Trump Twitter account said after Sunday's game that "Chip Kelly is so incompetent I'm shocked the Democrats aren't running him for President." Ouch.

Reminder of the day

The winner of Friday's Navy at Houston game (noon, 6ABC) will win the AAC West Division and host next Saturday's conference title game.

Assuming South Florida took care of winless Central Florida on Thursday night (they were three-touchdown favorites), Temple will play the winner of Navy-Houston if the Owls beat Connecticut on Saturday night (7 p.m., ESPNU) at the Linc. Temple is favored over UConn by two TDs.

So football in this town isn't totally dead.