Bone marrow donation a life-saving gift

THIS STORY didn't have to have a happy ending. The fact is, many of them don't.

Maybe that's why the long-awaited hug that took place on Friday night between 68-year-old Judy Cooper and former Ursinus running back Ted Conrad, who's 43 years younger, was . . .

"Right up there," Cooper smiled. "And I've had some good ones."

It felt so right, they held onto each other not once but twice, as if neither wanted to let go.

"I knew it was going to be emotional," said Conrad. "But I think the moment kind of got to both of us."

That's how it is, when lives are involved.

Friday marked the sixth annual bash to benefit Villanova football coach Andy Talley's Bone Marrow Foundation, which since 2008 has registered over 60,000 potential donors from 47 schools, 278 of whom have become matches.

Conrad, a Central Bucks West grad, was one of those who made it to the final stage in the process. Five years ago Cooper was suffering from leukemia, after losing her husband Ed to pancreatic cancer a few years earlier. What she never lost was hope. And on April 12, 2011, she received Conrad's bone marrow. Following the mandated one-year waiting period, they finally got in contact. First by letter, then later through emails and phone calls. But this was the first time they'd met.

On Monday, Cooper, who lives in suburban Atlanta near two of her three children, went in for her five-year biopsy. The test results will be available in two weeks. If they come back clear, she will not have to say she's in remission. She can say she's cured.

"Not that it can't ever come back," she cautioned. "But it usually doesn't."

She called Conrad one of her heroes.

"I know several people who didn't make it," said Cooper, who has five grandkids. "When I was filling out the paperwork (to contact Conrad), they told me to really think about it, because you have no control how things could work out.

"You get to know some people, since you're in the hospital for so long (after the procedure). Then you see each other at clinics. All of a sudden I wasn't seeing them there anymore. It turns out they had passed away, or were not out of remission. So I didn't get close to too many. I was afraid to."

Conrad really didn't know what he was getting himself into when he registered in 2010 as a college freshman.

"I didn't think anything of it (at the time)," he said. "The whole football team was doing it. It's almost like a blood drive or something. I just knew it was for a good cause. But I didn't know it would lead to anything like this. It's amazing."

It was hard to tell which one of them was more thankful just for being there.

"I didn't know if I'd even be able to talk," Cooper said. "I have a hard time saying very much. It was just like a welling of all these feelings, and it was good. No one does this alone.

"When I tell people how old he is, they can't believe it. Because not all kids would do that type of thing. I'm not sure they realize the enormity of it, that it was pretty much a life and death situation. He didn't look at it that way. He said, 'Oh no, it wasn't that much.' But to me and my family, it was the greatest gift we could ever get. It's everything. I'll always be grateful. I just hope he understands how much he's meant. It used to be that leukemia was a death sentence.

"The doctors told me (chemotherapy) would help for a while, but I don't know if I'd still be here (if not for Conrad)."

So theirs is a unique bond that will never go away. This moment was five years in the making. All from a simple cheek swab. Many die because a match isn't found in time. In a perfect world, maybe it doesn't have to be that way. But until then, any happy ending is a good thing.

Three senior Villanova football players who recently donated their marrow were also recognized during Friday's celebration. We can only hope those stories lead to more hugs.

"I would like to be able to stay in contact (with Conrad)," Cooper said. "Christmas cards, at least, so we can check in and find out what's going on in our lives. Maybe I can dance at his wedding, if he invites me. I'd like to be there and do that. Because of the age difference, he might not want me to bother him. He said we just have to do a better job of keeping up.

"I'm very lucky. I had great doctors, the newest medicines. It's so much easier than it was before. But 20 years ago . . . I remember we had a neighbor boy, about 8 or 9 years old, the same age as my oldest daughter. He was treated at St. Jude's (hospital in Memphis). There wasn't any talk about doing bone marrow. He lasted a while, then passed. They kid me that I'm going to live to be quite old, because I have young stem cells. We laugh about it. It could have been anybody.

"I'm a Christian. We had people praying for me all over the United States. I really think that played a part in it, too."

Conrad doesn't know the reasons why. He just knows what happened. And that it couldn't have happened without him. Now, two lives will never be the same.

"A couple of months ago I got a call from coach Talley," he recalled. "I think he actually left a voice mail. I thought it was a prank call. It ended up being the perfect situation. I can't thank him enough for putting it together.

"My part of it wasn't a big deal. It's not painful. Just a couple of needles, that's it. To save a life, that's a no-brainer. It makes me feel special, I guess, that somebody actually thinks of me as a hero. I don't know if anybody else does. We're blood buddies.

"There's so many negative things in the world nowadays. It's like I have a second family. It's hard to put into words. Imagine if it was you or a member of your family who needed help. I didn't know exactly what I was doing, even when I was doing it. But it makes you feel really good, that you did. When I saw her out there, she's probably healthier than I am at this point. Who knows? She could live to be 90 or 100. That's a bunch of time. Who wouldn't want that?"

@mikekerndn