Skip to content
Link copied to clipboard

Gonzo: Jerry Jones doesn't enjoy Cowboys-Eagles as much as TV appearance

You can learn all sorts of things on 60 Minutes. House speaker-designate John Boehner is a crier. Brazil's economy is doing well. And Jerry Jones wants numbers geeks to be flogged - with their calculators, if possible.

You can learn all sorts of things on 60 Minutes. House speaker-designate John Boehner is a crier. Brazil's economy is doing well. And Jerry Jones wants numbers geeks to be flogged - with their calculators, if possible.

"Stats are for losers," the Cowboys owner said during an interview with Scott Pelley. "They relish in them."

He sort of growled it. (That must have been easier for him to do, pre-plastic surgery.)

But, then, you can't blame Jones. The numbers must be painful for General Jerry right about now.

There was Eagles receiver DeSean Jackson's 91-yard touchdown, the longest play from scrimmage in the league this season. There were Jackson's 210 receiving yards, third-most in Eagles history. There was Jackson's one spectacular (pre) end-zone celebration that rubbed in the revenge win just a little. And, finally, there was the score: Eagles 30, Cowboys 27.

It started out as a pretty nice night for General Jerry. Pelley's piece on the Cowboys owner was effusive. He began by saying that when you're Jones, "You don't own just a team - you own America's team. You don't build just a stadium - you build the biggest in the land. In Texas, you dream big."

So much for that. Entering the Eagles game, Dallas had won three of its last four games. Jones seemed pretty happy about that and the national media trumpeted the Cowboys' resurrection. The rebirth was short-lived. The Cowboys are 4-9 now.

Jones, to his credit, admitted to Pelley that Dallas has been pretty dreadful this season. He even said his late pal, George Steinbrenner, would have fired him as the general manager. He might want to take Steinbrenner's advice.

Can't figure out why some people don't like Cris Collinsworth. The NBC color analyst is entertaining in a Deion Sanders/when-he-talks-absurd-stuff-comes-out sort of way.

On Sunday night, we learned that Collinsworth "never did a head butt"; thinks Tony Romo (who's won exactly one playoff game in his career) is "kinda Brett Favre-ish"; believes Jason Garrett is "Jimmy Johnson revisited"; and really loves "watching Andy Reid timing that baby out." (The last one sounded even more creepy when accompanied by NBC's close-up of Big Red.)

Collinsworth also marveled at the giant, overhyped, hi-def television that hangs over the field at Jerry World when it nearly got hit by a punt. "You ever think you'd live long enough to see a football go past an 80-yard-long scoreboard?" he asked.

He can check that one off the bucket list and die happy now, I guess.

Deion Sanders can't help himself. The man likes prison talk.

Last week on the NFL Network he badly botched Michael Vick's introduction by saying "from Leavensworth to the limelike." This week during the game he tweeted, "If you hit Brady or Manning like they hit Vick you may get 6 months in Alcatraz."

They ship you to a tourist destination?

The heavy snow in Minnesota caved in a section of the Metrodome roof. It also gave some of the TV talking heads brain-freeze.

The New York Giants and Minnesota Vikings will play in Detroit on Monday. Some analysts, such as Tom Jackson, said it would be an advantage for Minnesota. Others, such as Cris Carter, said it would benefit the Giants. And Michael Strahan? He couldn't quite make up his mind.

"It's a catch-22, in a sense, for the Giants," Strahan said. "It's a blessing to have a chance for Hakeem Nicks, Steve Smith, and other guys coming off to get a little healthier - but they have to play the Eagles next week, a big game that could determine who is going to win that division.

"For the Giants, it's great to get these guys back - but it hurts, in a sense, that it'll be a very short week next week against the toughest team that they're going to play in their division."

During an interview with Bob Costas, Reid was asked if cutting players is difficult. Reid called it "absolutely the hardest part of the job," then added "it's like the changing sands of Cape Cod." Weird that no one has used that line before. . . . Even if he's not the fastest man alive, this DeSean Jackson video is still pretty good. (Hat-tip to . . . About a year ago, Eagles propaganda peddler Dave Spadaro spit on the star in Dallas. There should be a special holiday for great moments in stupidity. . . . No one does shameless shtick as well as Michael Barkann. On the Eagles pregame show, he did a "Jon Kitna/glad we met ya" joke for his own amusement. He also introduced Paul Goodloe from the Weather Channel by saying, "We'll check in with Paul Goodloe, and Paul there was a good low coming through the Midwest." He should replace Steve Carell when he leaves The Office. . . . Ask Gonzo on at 2 p.m. on Monday.