Hargrove trying to continue comeback story with Eagles

BETHLEHEM, Pa. - It was on those lonely walks up and down the streets of Port Charlotte, Fla., when he was alone with his thoughts, that Anthony Hargrove pondered his life.

He was a zombie, wandering aimlessly. Drugs made him that way. It was March 2008, and just two months earlier Hargrove had been suspended for the entire NFL season for failing a second drug test. He realized his life was going nowhere.

That was then.

Hargrove, 28, laughs and jokes with his new Eagles teammates these days. He's always talking. "Pump up the volume, Hargrove!" joked Jim Washburn, his new defensive line coach. Oh, it was already up, Hargrove assured. He doesn't need drugs to do that anymore.

Hargrove's comeback rivals that of Michael Vick's. Maybe it has not reached the individual heights that the Eagles quarterback's has, but Hargrove won a Super Bowl with the Saints in his first clean year in a while.

The Eagles called him, offering a one-year contract, last week when Mike Patterson was sidelined due to a seizure.

Now, under Washburn, Hargrove said he is finally being "let loose" for the first time in his career and is using his 6-foot-3, 272-pound frame to supply pressure up the middle.

"I'm just trying to bring as much energy as possible," Hargrove said. "And hopefully, when they make these final cuts, I'll still be here, and I'll be an Eagle."

Where did it all go wrong?

Hargrove is honest about his mistakes. He doesn't pass the blame. It was at Georgia Tech, in Atlanta, where Hargrove took his first wrong turn.

"Once I got on my own, [it] started," Hargrove said of the trouble. "Just the big lights of the big city and just going out to all of the strip clubs. . . . I got caught up in that really, really fast life. Took on a lot of alter egos, pretending to be 50 Cent, different stars. And just trying to be something I wasn't, and that false perception led me astray."

Hargrove's first two years at Tech went according to plan: two sacks in spot duty as a true freshman. Then he started every game as a sophomore, posting four sacks.

But he was ruled academically ineligible for his junior season, and, for the first time ever, his football future was in doubt. So he held odd jobs to support his two children until an agent, Phil Williams, took an interest and convinced him to get into shape for a shot at the NFL.

And it worked. Hargrove wowed everyone at the 2004 scouting combine, and the Rams drafted him on potential as a defensive end in the third round of the 2004 draft.

Hargrove saw action in 15 games as a rookie and racked up 61/2 sacks in 15 starts in 2005. But, by 2006, the Rams were ready to part ways. In September of that season, Hargrove went out on a Wednesday night to party and didn't go back. He started drinking at a casino and wound up snorting cocaine in the basement for the next two days.

Then Hargrove called his coach, Scott Linehan, and told him he quit the team. He was retiring. Scared and embarrassed, Hargrove said he couldn't go back after missing two days. Hargrove's agent called him and urged him to go back.

It was during those two days that Hargrove said he recognized the symptoms of a life wasting away. The sweaty palms. The nausea. The drugs were taking a toll on him.

After he reconsidered his retirement, he rejoined the Rams on Friday afternoon and sat in the office and cried like a baby.

"At that point, they had had enough," Hargrove said of the Rams. "I had already come to work wreaking of alcohol many times. Couldn't keep my weight on."

This wasn't the same defensive end who ran the 40-yard dash in 4.56 seconds.

"Alcohol, pills, shrooms. If you name it, I tried it," Hargrove said. "I wasn't a needle person, but if you could chop it up or snort it, I did it.

"I called myself a chemist. You sit there and try to learn how to beat the tests. You try and dilute stuff. When you're an addict you try and hide as much stuff as possible."

In October 2006, the Rams sent Hargrove to the Buffalo Bills for a fifth-round pick. Hargrove failed his first drug test, in 2007.

By that time, Hargrove said he had been in and out of rehab several times since 2005. He had even reached the point where he wouldn't have made it to training camp on time had he not gone to rehab first.

"You're a young kid. You don't care," Hargrove said of dabbling in drugs. "You say, 'I'm young. I've got plenty of time to live. I'm just having a good time.' "

Strike two came in January 2008. After two uninspiring seasons in Buffalo, he failed a second drug test and was suspended by the league for the entire season. Two months later, at his home in Port Charlotte, football seemed out of reach.

"I realized that everyone was reporting back to work," Hargrove said. "People were signing new contracts. Teams were starting to get up again and starting to get ready for the new season.

"And I was sitting at home, snorting cocaine, and realizing that my life was going nowhere. Needed to do something else. At one point, I was starting to think about going back to McDonald's to work. So I was throwing away my NFL career."

He was indeed. Ten-and-a-half sacks and 19 starts in five seasons didn't match the larger-than-life dream Hargrove was chasing.

But his brother, Terence, wouldn't let Hargrove give up, and Terence made the decision for Hargrove on one of those walks down the streets of Port Charlotte.

"Go back, and win it all," Terence said, according to Hargrove.

"Do you think I can do it?" Hargrove asked.

"If anybody can do it, it's you," Terence said.

"I was probably going to kill myself," Hargrove said. "Because they say it's jail, institutions, and death. I had already been to jail, and I had been to institutions already. So the next stop was death. And when you realize that, I didn't want to die. I have children and didn't want to leave them behind."

That April, Hargrove checked into a psychiatric hospital for three months then spent 10 more months in an inpatient residential facility. This time, he took it seriously. The NFL reinstated him in February 2009, and he checked out of rehab in May.

Less than a year later, he had collected five sacks in six starts and won the Super Bowl with the Saints.

Hargrove returned to the streets in Port Charlotte during the lockout - as a motivational speaker. He shares his story because he wants the kids walking the same streets he did to avoid his unfortunate path.

"Back at home in Port Charlotte, the pill thing is really becoming an epidemic," Hargrove said. "So [I'm] just trying to get to these kids at a very young age not to throw their life away."

In June, Hargrove met tragedy again when Terence was stabbed to death in North Port, Fla.

"Signing on to a team isn't going to replace my brother," Hargrove told reporters. "I'm just happy I'm with a team that wears his favorite color: green. I'm going to dedicate this season to him. Everything I do from here on out is dedicated to Terence Hargrove."