The Eagles' honorary alumni captain for the first home opener of the Chip Kelly Era was Chuck Bednarik.

Fortunately, no one asked the famously opinionated Hall of Famer what he thought of Kelly's spread offense - or, for that matter, the spread defense that, much to Philip Rivers' delight, the Eagles deployed.

Had Bednarik been questioned on either, you can be sure his answer would have included references to "sissies," "overpaid prima donnas," Frank Gifford, and how tough Norm Van Brocklin was.

To be fair, it's been more than a half-century since Bednarik retired. The NFL he left was a far different animal, with no option quarterbacks, no protein shakes, no wind turbines.

One wonders what else about Sunday's game-day atmosphere perplexed Bednarik.

Women fans in pink Eagles jerseys? Women fans in green Eagles jerseys? Women fans?

The gluten-free concession stand? The Eagles' 19 assistant coaches? The willingness of fans to stand in line for crab fries?

Kramer's forecast

According to GameDay magazine, Philly-born financial guru Jim Kramer, a lifelong Eagles fan and the host of CNBC's Mad Money, thinks six wins would be a good season for his favorite team.

Don't be discouraged, Eagles fans. Remember, Kramer also thought the now-bankrupt, recently imprisoned Lenny Dykstra was a crackerjack stock analyst.

4 things that don't move as fast as Chip Kelly's offense

The beer lines.

The ladies room lines.

The Emil Igwenagu jerseys in the souvenir shops.

Chip Kelly's defense.

Sticker shock

Speaking of Bednarik, tickets to the Eagles-Packers 1960 NFL title game at Franklin Field cost $8.

Among the things that $8 wouldn't buy you at Sunday's Eagles-Chargers game were:

A Super Premium Canned Beer, $9.

A Premium Canned Beer, $8.25.

Two cups of coffee, $10.

A cheesesteak, $10.

An Eagles key chain, $9.

His number's up?

No offense to the late Philadelphia icon, but why in the world is Tom Brookshier's 40 among the very few (nine) numbers the Eagles have retired?

Brookshier had a nice but hardly spectacular football career - two Pro Bowls, 20 interceptions in seven Philadelphia seasons. But, let's face it, he probably wasn't even the best defensive back on the 1960 champions.

There have to be dozens of more deserving Eagles, among them Mike Quick, Harold Carmichael, Randall Cunningham, Bill Bradley, Bill Bergey.

I know, Brookshier went on to gain a national reputation as a CBS broadcaster, a reputation, by the way, that survived a late-life stint with WIP.

Less is more

The Eagles cheerleaders unveiled their new Vera Wang-designed outfits, which unveiled a lot more of the Eagles cheerleaders.

I don't know what Vera earned for the remake, but if she were paid by the amount of material or the time it took, her bank account might soon resemble Dykstra's.

No wear and tear

Lincoln Financial Field looked great Sunday even though a game had been played there just 24 hours earlier.

Then again, it was Temple that played there Saturday so the grandstands were hardly used.

Curiously, in a trash bin behind the Linc, someone had stuck a large cherry-and-white Temple banner atop a heap of refuse. (Insert your Temple joke here.)

Scary hairy

Has anybody checked out the hairstyles in the Eagles' official team photos?

There's Riley Cooper's Jackie O flip, Connor Barwin's Lyle Lovett 'do, and Isaac Sopoaga's palm-tree homage.

Opening-game limerick

All Philly's gone crazy for Chip,

His offense so rapid and hip,

But who cares if it's nifty?

If opponents get 50,

The "O"'s going down with the ship.

Giving 'Em Fitz:

5 Things Overheard

"I haven't been this excited since 2007. Or 2008, I forget."

"Dad said to meet him here. Where are we?"

Guy with his face painted green and white to a friend: "You see that crazy dude with the fright wig?"

"How long is it gonna be before somebody boos Chip?"

"It costs $15 to park at the Phillies and $25 here today. Where's the logic?"


Giving 'Em Fitz:

5 Things Not Overheard

"God, I miss Andy Reid."

"I didn't know you could drink at these games."

"Frankly, I find the concession prices quite reasonable."

"Anybody hear a Phillies score?"

"I didn't know Christina Lurie's seats were in the end zone."