TRYING TO figure out how I used a whole roll of Scotch Tape to wrap four gifts and being grateful that no one asks for a partridge in a pear tree anymore - wouldn't know where to get either of those things.

Let's skip the repetition because it would be dreadful reading and get right to the last verse of a more contemporary wish list for the 12 days of Christmas.

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me . . .

. . . The 12-4 record we expected.

. . . 11 defenders on the same page.

. . . 10 bucks to flatten Kasparaitis.

. . . A nine-man rotation for Doug C.

. . . 8 weeks of rest for Pronger.

. . . More seven-pitch at-bats this summer.

. . . Not the sixth seed.

. . . 5 (pause) and Oh (pause) out West.

. . . 4 more years of J-Roll.

. . . 3 more wins and help.

. . . 2 goals for Lindros.

. . . And a clean bill of health for "G."

Plenty of tickets, no admittance

So this riot at a German soccer match last month caused officials to prohibit fans from attending a match scheduled for this week. A "ghost game" is what it's being called and, though they can't let you through the gates, the home club is happy to sell you a ticket anyway.

Hansa Rostock got drilled by St. Pauli on Nov. 19 and the home fans responded by pelting police with rocks and shooting fireworks at the opposing fans. (Wonder if they were called St. Pauli's girls?) The prohibition of fans is going to hurt Rostock financially, so they're selling tickets from 5-19.65 Euros, about $6.50-$26 US.

"We want to limit the financial damage to the club," Rostock manager Stefan Beinlich told 11 Freunde magazine. "And we want to bring the fans on board."

The club said it had sold more than 2,400 tickets as of yesterday afternoon. Almost makes Personal Seat Licenses sound less like a scam. Almost.