Here's a brief timeline on what transpired in and around Citizens Bank Park in the hours before last night's Game 3 of the World Series:
2:56 p.m.: High winds scattered a box of those souvenir red-foam fingers near where media members were lining up to have their bags screened (not as painful as it sounds). Fortunately for the vendor, several people collected the windblown digits and returned them, not the first time someone at the sports complex had been given the finger.
3:36: The media elevator broke down. Sportswriters, who walk as infrequently as Jimmy Rollins, were forced to climb. There hadn't been that much heavy panting in a ballpark stairwell since Wade Boggs retired.
4:05: The first "Yankees suck!" chant was heard from a group of not particularly clever Phillies fans who had gathered at the still-unopened outfield entrance. If that wasn't torture enough for the few New York fans there, the Philadelphians were soon joined by a Mummers band.
5:12: Even though it was Halloween, few fans turned up in costumes. Then again, all the men in Phillies jerseys didn't need to. It's tough to look any sillier when you're already wearing a shirt with another man's name on its back.
6:30: The P.A. system began playing Halloween songs. When Blue Oyster Cult's "Don't Fear the Reaper" came on, fans on the first level began looking around for George Steinbrenner.
6:58: Ashburn Alley became officially impassable. Passions flared. One fan threatened another with a day-old Schmitter.
7:18: Rain was falling so hard that Bud Selig began experiencing flashbacks, and was talked down by Bob Costas.
7:25 The grounds crew put the tarp on the infield. Touch 'Em All writer ran out of jokes.
What Philly-connected singer performed the national anthem last night?
Instead, we got the cast from Fox's Glee, which certainly produced none.
Here are some local anthem singers I'd have preferred:
1. A Taylor Swift (Reading)-Kanye West duet. (Ideally, we'd get to see a Swift kick, too.)
2. The Roots. (Do they still live here?)
3. The Orlons. (Do they still live?)
4. Fabian. (Hey, he's 66 now, maybe he's learned to sing.)
5. Madonna. (I know she's not from Philly, but she'd likely mess up A-Rod for another few games.)
What's the big deal? Despite all the activity at the sports complex, it was just a typical Saturday night in South Philly:
Traffic was gridlocked.
Public transportation was uncertain.
Another "last, absolutely final, farewell, goodbye" send-off concert was taking place at the Spectrum.
People were shouting in restaurants and bars.
At Tony Luke's on Oregon Avenue, you could still get your roast pork with provolone, broccoli rabe and an attitude.
Jerry Blavat was reminiscing as he danced.
You may have missed the news that the Yankees' Alex Rodriguez has a painting of himself as a centaur - the mythological half-man, half-horse - hanging over his bed in his Manhattan condo.
Was this a reminder that steroids have some pretty weird side-effects? Or was he merely confirming the opinions of all those who think he's a horse's (butt)?
I wonder what the CC stands for in Yankees pitcher CC Sabathia's name.
Both the Phils and the Eagles play Sunday.
For the cops, it sure won't be a fun day.
Fans drinking and puking
Foul-chanting and duking.
And then driving drunk in their Hyundais.