Joe Conklin and Big Daddy Graham are Two Funny Philly Guys

Joe Conklin and Big Daddy Graham first met in the mid-'80s performing at the 23 East in Ardmore. "He saw me do five minutes and he said, 'Hey, you're really good at this,' " said Conklin, impersonating Graham's voice. "He gives me the number of [local booking agent] Paul Solari, and Paul's been paying me $30 a show ever since."

The duo first performed together at Tomasso's in Oak Lane, and the rest is Two Funny Philly Guys history. The two WIP guys bring their buddy act to the historic Broadway Theatre in Pitman, N.J., next Saturday for a Valentine's weekend show. SportsWeek's Bob "Boop" Vetrone caught up with them recently to talk about Philly sports, funny people and the sweet spot where the two collide.

1. Big Daddy, do you have a favorite story about Joe?

Graham: This is an absolute classic. My first night on WIP, I said something a little negative about the Sixers. Pat Croce calls in … and takes exception to something I said. I was friends with Pat at the time; I saw him all the time. I had to make a decision on the spot if I was going to be a pushover or not. So I challenged Pat, and we got into it a little bit and all that, and then the phone call ended. Turned out it wasn't Pat. It was Joe messing with me. Then, Bill Campbell calls me about a half-hour later, and I knew it was Joe. So I said "Joe, you're not gonna get me twice in one night. Get the hell off my air!" But it really was Bill Campbell. And I wanted to kill [Joe], I really did.

2. What's the most interesting reaction you've had from an athlete or coach?

Conklin: [Tommy] Lasorda came back at me. He had to retire and they were honoring him and I did Harry Kalas: "Tommy had a tough year this year. They always said he bleeds Dodger blue, but when he started turning Dodger blue in the dugout … Count right now is two balls and two strokes
on Tommy." And he got up there — it's about an hour later, people had forgotten, people had left and he's still steaming — and he rips off about eight bald jokes … He was desperately trying to get back at me, but it was too little, too late.  I introduced myself to [Dick] Vermeil once, "I'm the guy that's imitating you on the radio." And he said, "Yeah, you got that 'fricking' part down pretty good, don't you?" So he's very testy.

3. Which Philly sports person are you most thankful for comedically?

Graham: Charles Barkley. Barkley gives you something all the time.

Conklin: [Ilya] Bryzgalov is a gift from heaven, obviously. He's been an amazing treat. I just hope he can play goalie.

4. Who is your favorite local comic?

Graham: There are so many that I love and I think are actually hilarious … but this one has been amazingly funny for decades — and that's the Phanatic. I think the Phanatic is mind-blowingly funny.
First of all, if you watch him, he does all these Gleason moves. He's doing Jackie Gleason, but he has to do them on this broad scale because an entire stadium has to see him. And I'm telling you, I know he's there for kids and that each year there are kids that haven't seen him before, but he still keeps it fresh. I think he's hilarious. I always did. I love him.

5. Pick one: George Carlin's "Baseball vs. Football" or Abbott and Costello's "Who's on First?"

Conklin: I gotta go Carlin.

Graham: Abbott and Costello. I used to do that bit and sometimes think we should do that at the end of a show, just for the heck of it.

Conklin: I'll do that. It's a great idea.

Graham: I used to do it with a guy when I worked at Society Hill Playhouse, and he got sick one day and I went out and did the whole thing myself just by switching hats. I love Carlin to death, and that's a great, great bit. Robert Klein has great sports bits, too … Abbott and Costello's bit, though, if done properly, I'll still laugh at it today.