Push presents the Philly way: New moms here ask for everything from hoagies to breast implants

Xiaoming Baldwin was scrolling TikTok during the second trimester of her pregnancy when she came across a video about so-called push presents, or gifts given to commemorate the birth of a child.

The 30-year-old engineer was immediately sold on the concept, deciding that she would splurge on a present for herself even if her husband, Jim, wasn’t keen on the idea.

“I was like, ‘Oh, I don’t mind having more jewelry,’” Baldwin said. And she wanted something she could pass down to the child someday.

After her daughter was born in July, the Wissahickon resident ended up with the best of both worlds. She spent $500 on a custom ring with her daughter’s birthstone, a ring she plans to give baby Nora on her 18th or 21st birthday. And Jim surprised her with two Pandora charms for her bracelet.

“I think a lot more people should get this for mothers,” she added. “It’s really great this is becoming a trend.”

Push presents have actually been around for decades, but they are one of many concepts that have gotten more attention in recent years thanks to social media and the influence of celebrities.

Some examples from a 2018 Marie Clare article with headline “The 30 Most Extravagant Push Presents Celebrities Have Received”: model Blac Chyna’s $400,000 Rolls-Royce, Pink’s custom-built motorcycle, Princess Kate Middleton’s limited-edition Harrods teddy bear, and lots of expensive jewelry, including some pieces worth more than $1 million.

For noncelebrities, push presents are usually meant to express gratitude for the physical and emotional labor that accompanies pregnancy and childbirth. (Despite the term, some people who have C-sections, adopt children, or expand their families in other ways also receive these gifts). Often, the gift comes in the form of jewelry, though Philadelphians told The Inquirer they received everything from spa days to musical tickets to breast implants.

The most popular push presents, local jewelers said: necklaces, diamond studs, tennis bracelets, and anything that incorporates birthstones or other personalization, such as engraving. The vast majority of the time, they said, the gift itself is a surprise, though moms-to-be sometimes provide some direction.

About once a week, Adrianne O’Brien said she wears a necklace that has two emeralds, one of which her mother gave her; a blue topaz; and a tiny center diamond. Together, the jewels form a butterfly shape. Her husband worked with a jeweler to make the necklace back in 2004, and gave it to O’Brien after the birth of their son.

“It is one of my favorite things on the face of this earth,” O’Brien said. “It’s different. It’s something unique to our family. It just represents something really beautiful and cool.”

The gifts aren’t important to every new parent, and the concept has received some pushback on social media. In response to Facebook posts by an Inquirer reporter asking about push presents, some area residents responded that their gifts were “an 8-pound newborn,” “lots of stitches,” or “an outrageous bill from the hospital.” Others had never heard of a push present.

Stephanie Carlucci, 34, of Downingtown, asked for a very specific push present that wouldn’t break the bank: an Italian hoagie.

“I was like, ‘I know what you can get me, a Wawa hoagie,’” said Carlucci, who at the time had been craving Italian hoagies that she wasn’t allowed to eat during pregnancy. “We had made that arrangement before I even went into labor. I was like, ‘I just want something fresh and dripping.’ I was so excited for it.”

She said she wouldn’t have let her husband spend a lot of money on a piece of jewelry, especially given how costly child care and other expenses are these days.

“Power to whoever wants to do whatever,” she said. But “it just feels like another pressure everyone puts on themselves”

In Rittenhouse, customers of Craiger Drake Designs usually spend between $3,000 and $10,000 on push presents, said Drake, owner and president.

When Drake started working for the family business full-time in the 1980s, people were occasionally buying “pushing presents,” he said, but their popularity has skyrocketed since then. Now, about 70% to 80% of customers who buy engagement rings and wedding bands at Craiger Drake return to buy push presents. And if they buy a gift to mark the birth of their first child, Drake said, they typically buy a gift for every subsequent child.

“It’s a pretty basic and common thing now. It’s a nice thing to do, too,” Drake said. “The person who carries the baby the whole time does a lot of work. It’s definitely appreciated.”

Nicole Black still remembers her surprise and appreciation when her husband, Kenyatta, gave her a tennis necklace after the birth of their first child 19 years ago. She had been hinting that she wanted a tennis bracelet, the couple recalled, so Kenyatta decided to do her one better with the necklace.

The pair, co-owners of Old City’s Philadelphia Diamond Co., have seen demand for push presents increase slightly since then.

“It’s picked up with the advent of social media, … like everything else it’s just generating more awareness,” Nicole Black said. “People feel as though that person stepped it up so I need to step it up or do something similar.”

The influence can also come through word of mouth.

Lisa Germer Bice, 55, of West Chester, said she often suggests to pregnant friends and their partners that they do push presents, because the ones she received for her each of her four children were so meaningful.

After the birth of each of her three daughters, she received a piece of jewelry — a pearl bracelet, a gold ring, and white gold earrings. She wore each of the pieces regularly before giving them to her daughters, usually before the first special event for which the girl needed to dress up.

“For me, it’s a nice memory,” Bice said. “For my husband, he felt like I was doing all the hard work, and he felt like everyone was going to be like, ‘the baby, the baby, the baby.’ And he wanted to give me something.”

To mark the birth of their son, her husband gave her a tree that was planted in their backyard and blooms each year around the week of their son’s birthday in April. That gift was particularly poignant, she said, because their son was born with heart defects that required numerous surgeries. Every year, they would take a photo of their son, who is now healthy, next to the tree.

“It was all that more meaningful every year when we would take his picture that he was still around,” Bice said.

Each of the push presents, she said, brings back memories of her child’s birth — and all the amazing and scary moments that went along with it.

“It is a little bit traumatic sometimes, birth,” she said. A push present “is a way to attach maybe a prettier, shinier, nicer memory to it.”