Whiny babies are crying about Philly booing everyone at the Home Run Derby

I understand some folks on social media are very upset with Phillies fans today for booing every baseball player but their own two during the Home Run Derby at Citizens Bank Park Monday night.

To those whom we’ve offended, may I humbly say: BOOOOO!!! There’s no crying in baseball, you whiny babies.

I wasn’t there in person so sadly I can’t claim to have been a part of the cacophonous crowd that joyfully jeered player after player as they walked onto the field (except, of course, for Kyle Schwarber and Bryce Harper, who received thunderous applause), but I did laugh like hell while watching the incessant booing on TV.

Philly literally booed these guys just for daring to show up and be introduced at our ballpark. We are so unserious.

Our humor is just as brutal as our honesty and while it may not seem like it on the surface, both come from a place of respect. Sure we could be fake and feign applause for players from other teams, or we could be “polite” and not say anything at all, but we’d rather be engaged and enjoy a good time and a good ribbing.

Some people on social media, however, are obviously not familiar with Philly’s game, and took great offense to our boos. On Bluesky people wrote: “Not surprised, they booed Santa but this just sucks” (that’s weak and lazy writing, do better when insulting us) and “Philly fans would boo puppies and sunshine” (alright that’s pretty funny because it’s true).

Heck, last night Phillies fans booed one of the kids picking up baseballs in the outfield because he didn’t catch a fly ball, so yeah, puppies and sunshine should be on high alert.

Over on Threads, users posted: “How totally classless!” and “The Philly crowd booing every single player is really gross” and those people were rightfully and immediately ratioed. Philadelphians responded with brilliant retorts like: “If you don’t get booed in Philly, you’re not an All-Star” and “If those players didnt want to be booed, they should play for the Phillies.”

You know who didn’t seem to have a problem with the boos? The players who actually got booed! They appeared to get it and have fun with it. Every story that’s really a home run needs a good antagonist and a dramatic arc. For that night, they were our Moriartys and we were theirs.

If you can’t stomach some theatrics when the Home Run Derby is broadcast on Netflix — there was a boxing ring on the field and Will Ferrell was providing unhinged commentary — then you probably should’ve watched the Little House on the Prairie remake on Netflix instead, Laura Ingalls Wilder.

Listen, I do understand being surprised by the boos if you’re not familiar with Philadelphia’s dark and dystopian joie de vivre. Before I moved here, I don’t think I’d ever booed anything in my life or had ever been booed, and I couldn’t imagine a scenario in which either would happen (outside of my nightmares and Renaissance fairs, that is).

But after 19 years in Philly, I can now proudly say I’ve been booed in person, over the phone, via email, and on social media by Philadelphians and I have participated in many communal and individual booing sessions. I didn’t realize how cathartic it could be or how much I’d been suppressing my medieval side, but I know now and have vowed to boo better.

Most recently, I booed a tourist I was interviewing on July 2 when she told me she was visiting Philly through the third and then heading to Boston to celebrate Independence Day on July 4. I did give her a pass when she later said her son and grandson lived in Boston, but I did not apologize. We can’t be getting soft around here.

I mean this is a city where our mascots throw popcorn at babies, harass opposing coaches, and eat people while at work — and they’re the ultimate Philly fans, so expecting us to treat baseball like the ballet is totally bananas (and I’m not talking about the Savannahs).

For those who remain offended, I suggest looking in a mirror and asking: When is the last time I booed something? If the answer is “never” or “not in a while,” give it a go — you may not realize how much you’ve been suppressing.

And if you don’t want to boo yourself, turn on a Phillies game and boo us. We’ll take the compliment, because we can take a joke.