DEAR ABBY: I have been happily married for nearly three years. My husband is fine except for one problem: He has a very tiny male organ. It does not bother me, but he constantly apologizes to me about it. He's so self-conscious that he doesn't like for me to see him undressed.

I'm an old-fashioned girl. I saved myself for marriage. When he and I dated, I knew he was not as well-endowed as my former boyfriends, but I accepted it.

Now he has started saying he thinks I should have an affair with someone "properly endowed" so I won't feel cheated. I can't understand why he's asking me to do such a thing.

- No Big Thing?

DEAR "NO": If you do what your husband is suggesting, he will never forgive you, and it will spell the end of your marriage. He is only testing you; don't go for it.

Your husband's insecurity has gotten the best of his reasoning, and he's overdue for a frank talk with his doctor about what it takes to provide satisfaction for his wife. While he's at it, he should ask for a referral to a specialist who can help him overcome his irrational insecurity. If he refuses to go, I urge you to go without him. It could save your marriage.

DEAR ABBY: I have been working as a nurse's aide for more than 20 years. Now that I am older, no one wants to hire me. I'm in good health and very active.

I really need to work. Living on my husband's small Social Security check is impossible. Maybe it's time you said something about older folks who are still young at heart.

- Needs to Be Active

DEAR NEEDS TO BE ACTIVE: With pleasure. I view older workers as a valued resource. *