DEAR ABBY: My sister, "Heidi," told me that her boyfriend, "Chad," is putting heavy pressure on her to have sex. She's only 16. She says he has promised to use protection so she won't get pregnant.
My sister really doesn't want to have sex with Chad, but she doesn't want to lose him either.
How can I convince her it's not worth it, and that if it means losing him, she's better off?
- Protective Sister in Indianapolis
DEAR PROTECTIVE SISTER: Remind Heidi that even though Chad has promised to use protection to prevent a pregnancy, sometimes it can fail. Further, having sex with someone because she's afraid that if she doesn't she'll lose him is doing it for the wrong reason.
Remind Heidi that giving her virginity is something she can do only once - that's why it should be with someone special, preferably the man she would like to spend the rest of her life with. Even then, it should be because she's really ready and not because she was pressured into it.
DEAR ABBY: My husband removes all household cash whenever he becomes angry with me. Other women tell me this happens to them, too. What does this behavior indicate?
- Weary in Pennsylvania
DEAR WEARY: Your husband is using money to control and manipulate you. It is considered a form of spousal abuse.
You - and the other women this is happening to - would be wise to put aside a little money every week until you accumulate enough to consult a lawyer about what rights you have as a wife in the state of Pennsylvania. From my perspective, you are all being shortchanged.