From the Eagles’ Super Bowl win to the Phillies’ bitter end, let’s look back at 2025 in Philly sports

Dave Barry, arguably the funniest columnist ever and certainly the funniest Haverford College alumnus ever, has a tradition. Every December, he writes a piece in which he reviews everything that happened over the previous calendar year. Some of the things are true. Some of them are kinda true. All of them are hilarious.

Barry got his start in journalism at the West Chester Daily Local News, was almost hired by The Inquirer in 1983, won the Pulitzer Prize in 1988, and has written more than 40 books, including a terrific memoir, Class Clown, that was published in May. (Dave, when you update the “Acknowledgments” section for the paperback edition, it’s S-I-E-L-S-K-I.) So in honor of a great writer with strong local ties, let’s close out 2025 with a look back at the year in Philadelphia sports.

The year got off to a rough start when Howard Eskin, the Edward R. Murrow of autograph seekers, lost his very important job of telling everyone how awesome the Eagles are. Tanner McKee started the team’s final regular-season game and played well against the Giants, proving that he is better than Jalen Hurts, Tom Brady, and Joe Montana combined. Nevertheless, coach Nick Sirianni insisted on starting Hurts in the Eagles’ first playoff game, which led to wide receiver A.J. Brown’s decision to sit on the sideline and read a book called Magic in the Air, which was written by some hack from the suburbs. Hurts shook off his two tepid performances against the Packers and the Rams to play brilliantly in the NFC championship game against the Commanders, who aided him by refusing to cover any receivers or tackle Saquon Barkley.

Meanwhile, the Sixers played 17 games in the month and lost 11 of them, which cut into the listenership for Paul George’s podcast. But on the bright side, Penn State lost a close game to Notre Dame in the College Football Playoff semifinals, inspiring optimism that James Franklin finally would guide the Nittany Lions to a national championship the following season.

Speculation of a pro-Chiefs conspiracy among NFL officials swirled in the run-up to Super Bowl LIX, but those rumors were put to rest once Patrick Mahomes conspired to throw the ball to Cooper DeJean and Zack Baun throughout the first half. The Eagles thumped Kansas City, 40-22, prompting Brady to provide no discernable analysis on the telecast other than shouting “WOW!” after every significant play. At the Super Bowl parade, Eagles vice president Howie Roseman was struck in the head by a full can of beer. He immediately found the fan who threw the beer and signed him to a three-year, cap-friendly contract. On WIP, Spike Eskin argued that the fan should start ahead of Hurts.

The Phillies began the 2025 season with three wins in their first four games and the expectation that, if the team did not win the World Series, fans would storm Citizens Bank Park, bind and gag team president Dave Dombrowski, and throw him into the Schuylkill. Villanova’s men’s basketball team lost in the quarterfinals of the Big East tournament and fired coach Kyle Neptune, which reminded everyone that Kyle Neptune had been coaching Villanova’s men’s basketball team. The Flyers lost 11 times in a 12-game stretch and fired coach John Tortorella, which reminded everyone that Philadelphia used to have a hockey team.

Brandon Graham said he was retiring after 15 years with the Eagles. Yep. He said that. There was a news conference and everything.

Aaron Nola lost four consecutive starts for the Phillies, which raised the concern that fans would storm Citizens Bank Park, bind and gag him, and throw him into the Schuylkill. Coaches and executives around the NFL began lobbying the league to ban the Tush Push. The Eagles responded by encouraging their offensive linemen to stop blocking altogether — a strategy they carried into the 2025 season. The team then drafted Jihaad Campbell, the first time that the Eagles had selected a linebacker in the first round since 1979 … two years before their head coach was born. Seriously.

A busy time. The Flyers hired Rick Tocchet as their new head coach, which prompted several 55-year-old South Jersey women to dig their TOCCHET, ZEZEL, and MELLANBY jerseys out of mothballs and start wearing them again.

The Phillies won nine straight games, but bad news marred their hot streak. Major League Baseball suspended closer José Alvarado for 80 games and ruled him ineligible for the postseason after a drug test revealed he had not told gamblers that he was using a banned substance. Nola gave up 12 hits and nine earned runs over 3⅔ innings against the St. Louis Cardinals, after which the Phillies placed him on the injured list. Then Jesús Luzardo gave up 12 hits and 12 earned runs over 3⅓ innings against the Milwaukee Brewers, which raised the concern that fans would storm Citizens Bank Park and insist that Nola pitch again.

DeJean and his fellow Eagles defensive back Reed Blankenship launched their podcast, Exciting Whites, which immediately rocketed up the audience rankings in Mayfair, Somerton, and Ridley Township. The College of Cardinals elected Robert Francis Prevost, a Villanova alumnus, as the new Pope. In his first declaration as Pope Leo XIV, Prevost announced that “V for Victory” would become the official Communion hymn for every Catholic Mass in the United States, replacing “Taste and See,” “Eat This Bread,” and the ever popular “One Bread, One Body.”

The Indiana Pacers’ remarkable run to Game 7 of the NBA Finals — thanks in large part to T.J. McConnell — reminded Sixers fans of those halcyon days when the team tanked for three years to acquire a 5-10 backup point guard who might someday lead them to an almost-championship. Things got better once the Sixers selected VJ Edgecombe with the third overall pick in the draft, allowing them to phase out Joel Embiid and George with a roster made up entirely of guards who were 6-4 or shorter.

The Flyers used their first-round pick on a promising winger, Porter Mantone, though fans remained disappointed that neither Tocchet, general manager Danny Brière, nor team president Keith Jones would be suiting up for the team himself.

The WNBA announced that Philadelphia would get an expansion franchise in 2030, provided that the WNBA still exists in 2030. The NCAA announced that it would keep the March Madness field at 68, quelling any remaining hope that any Big 5 team would ever qualify for the Tournament again. At the MLB trade deadline, the Phillies acquired Harrison Bader, who immediately became their best player, and Jhoan Duran, who immediately increased their in-game pyrotechnic production costs by 250%.

The Eagles began training camp, and Hurts laid out the team’s message for the season: “We are focused on 2025. We’re acting like we didn’t just win the Super Bowl. We’ve forgotten that we won the Super Bowl. You either win or you learn. We are keeping the main thing the thing that is mainly the thing that we think is, in the main, what we want to be doing. What is the Super Bowl anyway? What is soup? What are bowls? Who am I? Why am I here?”

Kyle Schwarber became the 21st player in major-league history to hit four home runs in a game, raising questions about whether the Phillies would re-sign him in the offseason — questions that Dombrowski dispelled: “Kyle is an elite power hitter. He’s the most elite hitter we have. He’s the elitist elite hitter around. Got all that, Bryce?”

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce announced that they were engaged and that their wedding ceremony would be streamed live on the New Heights podcast. That way, someone would finally have a reason to listen to a full episode of the New Heights podcast.

Seconds into the Eagles’ season opener, Jalen Carter spat on Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott. Carter was ejected from the game and, via referendum, elected mayor of Philadelphia. The Eagles won their first four games, which everyone agreed was awful, just like A.J. Brown said on Twitter/X.

Before the ninth inning of a Phillies-Nationals game at Citizens Bank Park, Duran set himself on fire and jogged to the pitcher’s mound, where he sacrificed a goat to what he later called “the mighty spider god who gives me strength.” He then gave up two runs for his first blown save.

After manager Rob Thomson benched him, outfielder Nick Castellanos complained that Thomson didn’t communicate well. When asked to respond to Castellanos’ comments, Thomson shrugged and said, “Welp.”

A not-so-great month. The Phillies lost in the National League Division Series when a Dodgers batter hit a ground ball back to the mound and reliever Orion Kerkering passed out. The Eagles lost back-to-back games to the Broncos and Giants. To adjust to their team’s limitations, Sirianni and new offensive coordinator Kevin Patullo decided that Hurts would be forbidden from throwing a pass after halftime for the rest of the season. Penn State fired James Franklin after losses to Oregon, UCLA, Northwestern, Archbishop Ryan, and the Lenape Valley 10U Pop Warner team.

The silver lining? Brandon Graham — surprise! — came out of retirement to rejoin the Eagles.

The media who cover the Eagles grappled with a simple question: Does the offense stink because of A) Jalen Hurts, B) Kevin Patullo, or C) Yes? The Eagles then squandered a 21-point lead in losing to the Cowboys and got pushed around in losing to the Bears, leading NFL experts to wonder whether a team coached by Sirianni and quarterbacked by Hurts could ever win anything of consequence.

Tocchet faced withering criticism from Flyers fans for limiting the ice time of Matvei Michkov, who showed up for training camp weighing 350 pounds and having forgotten how to skate. The Sixers got off to an excellent start as Edgecombe and Tyrese Maxey showed they could form the franchise’s best backcourt since Isaiah Canaan and Ish Smith.

The Phillies re-signed Schwarber for too many years and too much money for a 32-year-old designated hitter, handing him a contract that will prevent them from breaking down the roster and beginning the 15-year rebuild that any true fan would really want. In response to Dombrowski’s assertion that he was “not elite,” Harper began a new offseason training program similar to Robert De Niro’s in Cape Fear.

The Flyers finished the month in third place in the Metropolitan Division and on pace to make the playoffs, disappointing those fans who hated the idea of tanking right up until the Flyers stopped tanking. Maxey and Edgecombe kept up their fine play for the Sixers, and Villanova won 10 of its first 12 games, even though no one, not even new coach Kevin Willard, could identify a single player on the Wildcats’ roster.

In a possible Super Bowl preview, the Eagles beat the Buffalo Bills despite scoring one point and racking up negative-19 yards of total offense. Sirianni then chose to have most of the Eagles’ starters sit out the team’s regular-season finale, because if 2026 turns out to be anything like 2025, everyone is going to need some rest.