Dating podcast ‘U Up?’ comes to Philly for a live recording

Wondering what to do about that guy who watches all of your Instagram stories but won’t text you back? Or how to broach the topic of religious differences with someone you’re dating? Maybe you’re having anxiety about planning a vacation with a new partner.

Whatever it is, Jordana Abraham and Jared Freid have heard it all, thanks to their popular dating podcast, U Up?

Abraham, who cofounded the young-woman-centric social-media brand Betches, came up with the idea for U Up? when she realized that it would allow listeners to get male and female perspectives on their love lives at the same time. She teamed up with Freid, a stand-up comedian based in New York, and the duo launched the podcast in 2017. Last October, the podcast was streamed more than 688,000 times.

Each roughly 90-minute episode addresses issues with today’s unpredictable, app-centric dating climate, like ghosting and breadcrumbing. Celebrity guests such as Andy Cohen and Whitney Cummings visit occasionally to comment on topics like stalking exes on Instagram or discussing sexual histories with new partners.

The cohosts come to Philadelphia on Friday evening to record a live show at Underground Arts, where audience members can ask questions and weigh in using paddles that say “red flag” or “deal breaker.” The show is sold out, but we chatted with Abraham and Freid ahead of their show about dating trends and what they’ve heard about dating in the City of Brotherly Love.

Abraham: Everyone is going through the same dating issues, and because the ways in which we date today are so new, no one really has an outlet to say what they’re really thinking yet. So I think the podcast is unique in that you get a man and a woman debating these issues. We think about these issues very differently, depending on which sector you’re talking to.

Freid: With dating today, you can’t really ask your parents for advice. They never dealt with the reality that we live in today. Not only that, there’s a lot of big issues out there — such as politics and jobs — that millennials are dealing with. It’s hard to come to the brunch table and be like, “Why didn’t he text me back?” to your friends sometimes. It can be hard to bring up. That’s why we take every question that we get seriously.

Abraham: Our parents’ generation dealt with way less ambiguity. They had to call someone to ask them out on a date. But with us, it’s like, “What does it mean if he’s not really texting me but watching all my Instagram stories? Why does he keep talking to me on the dating app but refuses to ask me out?” There are so many different ways to interpret what people are saying. But what are the signs that someone’s actually interested in you? There’s so much to sift through, versus in the past, there were only so many ways to show interest.

Freid: We’re connected, but not connected. It can be hard to distinguish between real effort and fake effort. There’s a big difference between what you do with your fingers and what you do with your feet.

Abraham: A lot of women have issues being direct. We’re so scared to seem desperate and crazy. But asking for clarity is one of the more empowering things you can do. If someone is being wishy-washy about a date, you can take charge of the situation.

Freid: I’ve heard that Philly is a very big small town. Like if you dated someone and if it ended, chances are you’re going to see them out again at some point. Even though it’s a big city, the social circle feels very familial, whereas in New York, you can “escape” a little more easily. But that’s also part of the charm of Philadelphia — when people date, they want to know that maybe their friend can vouch for that person. There’s a little bit more accountability in that way.

U Up? Podcast, 7:30 p.m. Friday, Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St., sold out, 215-627-1332, undergroundarts.org