New York restaurants are rebranding their Philly cheesesteaks to support the Knicks. Wimps.
There’s no such thing as a Big Apple Cheesesteak.
Restaurants across New York City and Long Island are striking the word Philly from their menus to support the Knicks as they face off against the Sixers in the NBA’s Eastern Conference semifinals, according to the New York Post.
“Philly needs to understand, New York is the king‚” Louis Cretella, the owner of Dario’s Pizza in West Hempstead, told the tabloid.
The restaurant — which purportedly sells 2,500 cheesesteaks a week — is rebranding the sandwich as the “Philly SUCKS” cheesesteak for the duration of the series. For hard copy menus, Cretella reportedly instructed staff to scribble “F— Philly" in black marker over the item.
This is exactly the sort of over-the-top behavior expected from the bridge-and-tunnel crowd. Y’all want to prove you’re NYC tough so badly that you forget how to act.
Still, the whole gimmick begs a couple of questions: Why are you bragging about selling Philly’s signature sandwich if you hate us so much? And is your ego really that fragile?
» READ MORE: The Philly cheesesteaks we genuinely want to eat
Other New York City area restaurants have joined in. At Birdie Bar in Northport, it’s now The Big Apple Cheesesteak. At G’s Cheesesteaks in Manhattan’s Lower East Side, their entire livelihood now revolves around whatever a New York Knicks cheesesteak is.
And at Wogies — a traitorous Philadelphia-themed bar with locations in the Financial District and the West Village — it’s now called The Appendix Burster. It’s an homage to the appendectomy that kept Joel Embiid out of the first three games of the Sixers’ playoff series against the Boston Celtics.
To this, I say: Our culture is not your costume.
I know: New Yorkers are allowed to be petty. The Knicks whooped the Sixers 137-98 during Game 1 at Madison Square Garden Monday, and Embiid is out again with more injuries. Plus, the Sixers restricted ticket sales to Games 3 and 4 at the Xfinity Mobile Arena to only fans from the Greater Philadelphia area, all but shutting out New Yorkers from attending. Players even begged Philadelphians to not resell their tickets.
» READ MORE: Sixers release single-game tickets with restrictions for second-round series vs. Knicks
Perhaps this is all just an eye-for-an-eye. Still, this trend smacks of one thing: fear.
“We just sat around, and all of a sudden we see the word ‘Philly’ there, and we’re like, ‘ugh!’ Teeth are grinding, and we didn’t want anything Philly. That’s weak,” Lure Group CEO Aristotle “Telly” Hatzigeorgiou told the New York Post. At the restaurant group’s lounge Slate and bar Clinton Hall, “Knicks” has been added to the front of each establishment’s cheesesteak empanadas and sliders, respectively.
Do they hear themselves?
What’s weak is the mere mention of city making your teeth grind. Might as well just stand on business and pull cheesesteaks from your menu entirely at this point.
After all, it’s not like Philly restaurants are wiping the words “New York” from our menu — mostly because we have no need. You don’t see people lining up at Pat’s or Geno’s and demanding a chopped cheese. There’s plenty of hoagies and real cheesesteaks to go around.
Still, if erasing the word “Philly” is what it takes for Jalen Brunson to actually play to his potential, go for it. Cope harder.
Just remember, Knicks fans: Like the cheesesteak, all of the team’s best players technically come from Philly.
