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Health-care workers cope under extraordinary circumstances | Expert Opinion

We don’t judge our patients. We support them and nurture them. However, I can’t help but feel that we are holding ourselves to a different standard.

Jason Han, M.D., a cardiothoracic resident at Penn and a frequent writer for The Inquirer, at the Perelman Center for Advanced Medicine in University City in October 2020.
Jason Han, M.D., a cardiothoracic resident at Penn and a frequent writer for The Inquirer, at the Perelman Center for Advanced Medicine in University City in October 2020.Read moreYONG KIM / Staff Photographer

I often hear patients and their family members say things such as:

“I know I’ve fallen behind on seeing my doctors and getting my medications.”

“I should have done this much earlier, I’m sorry.”

“We haven’t been able to eat as healthy or exercise as much as we used to.”

I don’t fault them for a second. I understand where they are coming from.

It has been much harder to take good care of ourselves during the pandemic. We have been coping with extraordinary circumstances both at work and at home. Combined with the economic uncertainties, these are undoubtedly some of the hardest times of our lives.

So we don’t judge our patients. We support them and nurture them.

However, in talking to my colleagues, I can’t help but feel that we are holding ourselves to a different standard.

Perhaps it’s because we feel the responsibility to meet the demands of the pandemic, or that we feel the profession should be immune to the strains upon society. Perhaps it’s because of the deep disdain for complacency ingrained in medicine.

We constantly wonder how we can grow faster and achieve more. We get anxious when we feel as if we are not doing as much, or as well as we used to, despite exceptionally strenuous and hazardous working conditions.

While this is how I have felt for as long as I have been in medicine, over the last two years I have been thinking more about why it is so hard to accept myself or the number of hours which I am working as ever being enough. Even as working conditions worsen, I only seem to be asking myself why I can’t handle more.

Upon further reflection, the understanding and kindness we bring to our patients in times of exceptional difficulty should also be extended to ourselves.

During these times, we can also fall behind, or lose motivation. Some days, we may not want to work, and just sit on the couch. We may have days when we are far from perfect, and that’s normal. No one else or any policy will ever be able to convince us that we are doing enough. Only we can do that.

The emotional fatigue and frank burnout associated with the pandemic have made each hour, and each shift so much harder for all staff. I have noticed that it takes much more effort to come into work with the same level of energy or positivity as we once felt.

Before we judge ourselves or anyone else, we have to consider the context in which we are living. Even maintaining the status quo can sometimes be an extraordinary feat.

Jason Han is a cardiac surgery resident at a Philadelphia hospital and contributor to The Inquirer’s Health section.