Newlyweds eager to see friends, family again

Ashley Henderson & Nick von Dohlen

Ashley and Nick were introduced by the Christian Mingle online dating site in late summer 2018. He found their message exchange through the dating app promising: In addition to faith, both prioritized family and each had experienced the breakup of a long-term relationship. They enjoyed discussing music, food, and their vastly different careers: She’s a physician assistant and he’s a financial planner with his family’s business. Then, several weeks after their correspondence began, Nick sent a message that went unanswered.

“My interpretation was that maybe she decided she wasn’t interested in me,” Nick said. “I just went on with my normal life.”

Ashley’s interest in Nick hadn’t waned, but her attention was focused elsewhere: the Jinja region of Uganda, where she had traveled with other medical volunteers to provide free health care.

She didn’t tell Nick she was going, because to do so felt close to expecting they would resume their conversation when she returned, and she expected nothing. “I had been on the online dating scene for probably six months before I started talking with Nick,” she said. “I was pretty jaded about the whole thing.”

But maybe not quite as jaded as she thought.

Once back in Malvern and over her jet lag, Ashley wrote to Nick: “I understand if you don’t want to talk to me at this point, I completely deserve it. I was in Uganda doing a medical mission for the past two weeks.”

“Well, that explains a whole lot,” typed Nick. “I’m still interested, but just so you know, I’m heading to Ireland tomorrow.” It was another week of silence. Ashley hadn’t had much access to the internet during her trip; Nick had WiFi, but couldn’t access the dating app from Ireland.

Nick messaged Ashley from the backseat on the ride from Newark airport to his Newtown apartment. Yet it took another two weeks for their first date to happen due to Ashley’s work schedule.

Finally, in mid-November, they met at the King of Prussia Mall for coffee. “We sat and talked for hours, and then we walked around the mall, still talking about our family, our recent trips, and work,” said Ashley. Nick asked if she’d like to get dinner and they lingered at the Cheesecake Factory, then walked around some more. “We had to leave because the mall was closing,” Ashley said. “Our first date had been six hours long — the longest first date either of us had ever had with anybody — and it was awesome,” said Nick.

They hugged goodbye.

Their second date was to see the Christmas Village at Macy’s and their third was to the Christmas light show at Shady Brook Farm, then dinner at Nick’s apartment. “I made a beef tenderloin with balsamic glaze in the Crock-Pot, with carrots and baked potato on the side,” he said.

Later, he kissed her.

“First and foremost, I love her heart,” said Nick, who is now 37. “She has an unfathomable capacity for compassion and love and kindness that I have not seen before, ever. Just being in Ashley’s presence makes me smile.”

Ashley, who is now 35, said Nick is her best friend. “We can laugh together, we can cry together. We can have serious conversations, or we can be silly. It’s all normal and natural, and I don’t ever feel self-conscious or judged or anything like that. And his level of kindness — I think I’m mean compared to him.”

That New Year’s Eve, Ashley invited Nick to a big family dinner to meet her parents, her sister and brother, and their families. She did not know that Nick, a self-described proud nerd, has an annual New Year’s weekend gathering to play video games and board games with a group of college friends. Both suspected this was the real deal when Nick told the guys he would join them on day two.

In December 2019, Nick invited Ashley to the Crossgate Wealth Advisors Christmas party — dinner at Ruth’s Chris Steak House. When Ashley arrived at Nick’s place, he told her they would have a short detour: His mother was worried she had left the gas fireplace on so they were stopping at his parents’ Yardley home to check.

“It’s cold out,” said Ashley when they pulled into the driveway. “I’m going to stay in the car — you go in and check the fireplace.”

“You have to come inside, because Mom wants to know what you think of her Christmas decorations,” said Nick, thinking on his feet.

Ashley got out of the car and hurried into the warm house.

“It’s a good thing we came — she did leave the fireplace on!” she said.

“Good thing,” Nick agreed. “And what do you think of the Christmas tree?”

One decoration on the impeccable tree simply did not match the others. “What’s that?” Ashley asked, pointing to the small white box.

Nick took down the box, offered it to Ashley, and knelt.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he said. “Will you be my wife?”

Ashley was stunned silent, then said “Shut up!”

Then she knelt next to him, cried, and said yes.

Within a month of their engagement, venues and vendors were secured for Oct. 24, 2020. Then that spring came COVID-19.

“We probably went through six different iterations of arrangements and plans,” said Nick. “Every time the governor changed the rules, we had to change our plan.”

Variations spanned everything from family only in Nick’s parents’ backyard to a micro wedding for 25 to outdoor everything. “We also thought about postponing the wedding, but ultimately, we went with our original plan because it was important to us to be married, and we didn’t want to wait,” Ashley said.

In August, they sent invitations that included a special message of the times: Some people would not feel comfortable attending, and Nick and Ashley would understand and support their decisions. They regularly posted updates on their wedding website and fielded a lot of individual questions.

Less than two weeks out, the rules changed again and venues could hold indoor events at 25% capacity.

Two-thirds of their invited guests attended. Ashley’s church, Paoli’s Church of the Good Samaritan, had ample space for 110 people to sit in household groups six feet apart — blue painter’s tape marked the distance. Everyone but the couple wore masks, and bottles of hand sanitizer were provided.

Three pastors said a homily: the Rev. Richard Morgan of Church of the Good Samaritan; the Rev. Jules Grisham of Nick’s church, Faith Presbyterian in Fairless Hills; and Ashley’s brother, Pastor David Henderson, who is in the process of opening a church in Salt Lake City.

At the Farmhouse at People’s Light, a cocktail hour was held outdoors rather than in the pavilion, but picnic tables were set and a fire pit was roaring. The dance floor would have been in the ballroom, but dancing under a tent was romantic. Everyone was inside only for dinner in the ballroom, during which all the doors were wide open and guests were again seated by household.

Ashley continues to work part-time as a physician assistant at Lankenau Hospital, but she now also teaches full-time at Thomas Jefferson University in East Falls. Despite all the precautions, she and Nick both held their breath for two weeks following the wedding. “We were just praying it didn’t happen,” she said. It didn’t. No one got COVID-19 after attending.

Nick and Ashley have enjoyed spending time together and nesting at the Yardley home they closed on in June 2020 with Hunter the cat, whom they adopted from the Brandywine Valley SPCA in February. Other than at their wedding, they haven’t seen many family members or friends since the pandemic began.

“With nice weather returning, it would be really nice to have a barbecue,” said Nick.

“We are looking forward to all the same stuff as other people,” said Ashley. “Just seeing people we haven’t seen in a while, and not over Zoom.”