A festival celebrating baldness went viral. It’s very real, and it’s happening in Philly.
Bald Fest is the brainchild of rapper Abstract Louv, who got the idea for the concert and skateboarding competition after shaving his head for the first time two months ago.
Blessed are the bald, for they will inherit the earth — or at least the Grays Ferry Crescent Skatepark.
Up-and-coming conscious rapper Abstract Louv is throwing what he hopes will be an annual Bald Fest at the skate park under the bridge on Aug. 23, a celebration of “the bald and bald-at-heart,” according to a flier posted to Instagram Friday. It, of course, had an illustration of a bald man staring at his reflection in another shiny bald head.
The event has the same distinctly Philadelphian je ne sais quoi as, say, eating a dry rotisserie chicken on an abandoned pier or a Jalen Hurts look-a-like contest, so it immediately went viral.
A corresponding TikTok from Abstract Louv has been viewed 94,500 times. “It’s a celebration of bald life,” Abstract Louv says while rubbing his freshly shaven head. “If you’re not bald, I’ll have a bald cap for you.”
@abstractlouvv If you’re gonna be in Philadelphia 8/23 pop out to Bald Fest and watch your favorite bald rapper go crazy #philly #philadelphia #fyp #trending ♬ original sound - abstractlouvv
Commenters immediately started asking questions: Could they take home a single bald man? Could they bring their bald dad? Would Pitbull be performing? Why even celebrate baldness?
Abstract Louv — whose real name is Robert Capron — told The Inquirer that the answers were a resounding maybe, yes, and no.
Capron said the inspiration for Bald Fest stemmed from the euphoria he felt after shaving his head for the first time about two months ago. The following week, Capron said, was “the best of my life.”
“I got thrust into this secret society of baldness,” said Capron, 31, who lives in North Philly. “I would walk in the street and every bald man — young and old — and some women gave me head nods. I had never felt this type of inclusion before.”
What exactly is Bald Fest?
Bald Fest is part concert, part skateboarding competition, and entirely a celebration of bald culture, or what Capron described as “being yourself, being free.”
The festival will kick off with a people’s choice skateboarding competition, followed by performances from Capron and electronic musician NO SIR E. (Before you ask: yes, he’s bald). People of all hairstyles can participate in the skateboarding contest, Capron clarified, and the winner will take home a $100 cash prize.
Should you get the urge to feel the breeze on your bare scalp, however, Capron said he’s already convinced a barber to give out free head shaves for the first hour of the event. And if your solidarity to the hairless has limits, Capron said there will be bald caps available.
Bald Fest will conclude with a five-minute moment of silence to honor “all the hair we’ve lost this year,” Capron said. It has to be a lot: Capron takes a razor to his head every two to three days for maintenance.
“I originally thought this was going to be small, a few friends and maybe some people from the internet,” Capron said. “Now I’m getting DMs from people saying they would travel across the country for this if they could.”
What’s so great about being bald, anyway?
A lot of things, according to Capron.
He likes feeling the sun on scalp even if it means he has to lather his head with sunscreen, something Capron never even thought about a mere eight weeks ago when he had a Caesar cut with a fade. His friends tell him that he looks more distinguished, Capron said, and he’s noticed more women checking him out (even if he’s not into dating at the moment).
Most importantly, baldness has made Capron bolder. “In the past, I was kind of hiding my hair behind all these hats,” he said. “Now I show more of myself.”
“Growing up, baldness was something to joke about, to be ashamed of,” Capron said. “But now that I’m living this lifestyle, it’s amazing … [Baldness] is the truest form of freedom. It erases all your inhibitions.”
To gear up for Bald Fest, Capron will be revealing the top 20 best bald heads on TikTok. His first honoree: LL Cool J, in recognition of his solidarity for canceling his Wawa Welcome America performance during the DC 33 strike.
Also on Capron’s bald Mount Rushmore? Pitbull, Shaquille O’Neal, Samuel L. Jackson, and Michael Jordan, whose basketball prowess transcended his baldness.
“When you think of Michael Jordan, you think of the Chicago Bulls, greatness, and him being bald. You don’t even consider the fact that he used to have hair."