This week’s question (Have your own? Submit it here.):

I keep running into my ex at the same bars. We both live in the same small town outside Philly and there isn’t much else around unless you drive for a while, so I knew it was inevitable, but it’s uncomfortable every time. How many favorite spots am I expected to surrender? Or do we just keep running into each other and let time heal the awkwardness?

Beatrice Forman, Food & Dining Reporter

My initial blunt response is simple: Unless the breakup was earth-shatteringly awful, you should not let your ex get in the way of your routines or how you have fun because then you never really get over them.

And who says it has to keep being awkward?

Dugan Arnett, Life & Culture Reporter

I tend to agree. One of the realities of small-town life is that you’re going to run into the same people regularly (including those you don’t want to). And unless you’re willing to do something drastic — like move — then the best thing you can do is keep living your life the way you want to.

Maybe ask yourself: Does the joy and comfort of going to these places outweigh the pain and discomfort of seeing your ex? If so, stick to your routines.

Beatrice Forman

Exactly! To me, it sounds like your ex is not so much getting in the way of your nights out so much as you are because you’re fixating on them being there.

It also seems like you’ve also already acknowledged each other at these bars in the past — which is understandably awkward — but there’s no breakup rule saying you have to talk to your ex every time you see them going forward. After a certain point, you don’t even have to smile, nod, or wave at them if you don’t want to.

Dugan Arnett

On the other hand, maybe there’s a way to address the awkwardness head-on as a way to move past it. Again assuming that the breakup wasn’t wildly toxic, maybe you could approach your ex the next time you see them out and hit ‘em with a “Of all the gin joints in all the towns...”

Beatrice Forman

Noooo, Dugan, that’s a real easy path to backsliding. That’s flirty!

I think a lot of the awkwardness around seeing our exes is very manufactured because you don’t want to be perceived as being cold or hurting their feelings. But, now the only thing tying you together is that you both live in the same town.

You shouldn’t DFMO [dance floor makeout] in front of your ex because that’s rude and tacky, but you should be able to have a drink.

Dugan Arnett

Google tells me that “backsliding” is “to relapse or revert to a worse condition, undesirable behavior, or past bad habits after making progress toward a positive goal,” and I now understand the error of my previous advice. Definitely don’t do that.

My default in this situation would probably be to pack up and move (possibly to another state or region) in order to avoid an awkward encounter, but considering that might not be “healthy behavior,” you’ve just got to figure out a way to be comfortable hanging out at the places you want to hang out.

Like Bea said, a lot of the awkwardness is likely manufactured, which means it won’t last forever.

Beatrice Forman

What if — and hear me out — you went to bars in the next town over instead?

How far can it really be?

Dugan Arnett

This is an interesting dilemma. I’ve heard of people not being able to go back to a coffee shop because they dated (and broke up with) the barista. But this is a whole town.

Beatrice Forman

There’s a whole song about it, Dugan! It’s literally called “Break Up in a Small Town" and I do fear it is excellent.

Dugan Arnett

What would that guy (Sam Hunt) say about the situation we’re discussing today? What advice is he giving?

Beatrice Forman

He would move far, far away.

Do better than Sam Hunt. Go to the bars.

Dugan Arnett

Or move to Philly. There are 1.6 million people here.