A shared love of nature brought them together

Sept. 2, 2022, in Philadelphia

In summer 2018, less than a week after a shared love of nature led to their Coffee Meets Bagel dating app match, Richard and Jielin sipped coffee together at La Colombe in Fishtown.

“We wanted to meet in person to see who that other person really is,” said Jielin. They soon realized it wasn’t just their profiles that matched well.

“We ended up talking for more than an hour, holding our empty cups for a long time,” said Richard, 38, an IT manager who grew up in Washington Township, N.J.

Richard said interesting things and was also a good listener who asked questions, said Jielin, 33, a finance project manager who grew up in Shenzhen, Guangdong Province, China, and immigrated to Northeast Philadelphia with her family about 15 years ago. “It was like catching up with an old friend; there were no boundaries to break down.”

A few days later, they met for dinner. “We liked endless talking even though we were talking for an hour every night,” said Jielin. “We enjoyed each other’s presence.”

About six weeks after they met, their conversation turned to their relationship. “We communicated well and we had good chemistry,” said Richard. “By the third or fourth date, I felt like we could move to the next step.” They became exclusive.

In 2019, Richard was ready for what he saw as the next logical progression: living together. Jielin hesitated. For her, this was a once-in-a-lifetime move to be made only with her life partner. “I told him moving in is a big, big step for me, and you have to commit to me first.” They talked and talked and reached an agreement that made both happy. That fall, Jielin left her parents’ home to join Richard in Fishtown, with the understanding that they would be engaged in about a year.

Then came the pandemic. Being together 24/7 taught them just how much they relish each other’s company, and also how to successfully navigate disagreements.

It was also during lockdown that Dondon, the corgi puppy Richard and Jielin had been waiting for, finally joined the family.

In January 2021, the couple moved to their Northern Liberties home. “It felt more equal that we both had equal ownership and equal decorating of the house instead of her just living in my old house,” Richard said.

He loves how supportive Jielin is. “I have a lot of crazy ideas and she always encourages me to try different things,” he said. That included purchasing a 3D printer and coming up with projects for it, including a Dondon-inspired dog sculpture. Speaking of Dondon, “I could see that she loves him a lot, and the way that she takes care of him shows me that she will be a good mom,” he said.

Richard understands her like no one else, said Jielin. “It’s so easy for me to communicate to him all the thoughts I have. I feel like he can read my mind — sometimes I just give him a look and he knows what I want,” she said. “And he has answers for all of my questions. That is some husband material, so I could not let that man get away.”

Richard was ready to propose and had a plan to do so: “We would hike to a summit, and there at the top of the mountain, I would propose to her,” he remembered. “I would have friends that are great photographers there, and it would be a big surprise with great scenery for our proposal pictures.”

Jielin’s engagement deadline had passed, but it wouldn’t be that much longer, Richard reasoned. “My brother was getting married that July, and I wanted to wait until after his wedding to propose,” he explained.

There was just one, very uncharacteristic problem: “He did not communicate that to me,” Jielin said. In May, her patience ran out.

“It was brought up that my [proposal] timeline was running low,” Richard said. “I had to spill the beans.”

Jielin granted Richard an extension. Richard scrapped his mountain plan, determined to surprise Jielin in some other way.

On a Saturday just after his brother’s wedding, Richard asked Jielin to take their dog for an early morning walk. When he heard the two return, he called Dondon up to the bedroom and used a ribbon to tie an engagement ring around his neck. “I told him to go find Jielin.”

Dondon ran down the stairs toward Jielin. “I saw something bling-bling-bling on his neck,” she remembered. She found the ring, and Richard bounded down the stairs, knelt, and asked her to marry him.

The couple married at the Cescaphe Ballroom in a ceremony led by Journeys of the Heart officiant Stephen Workman in English and translated into Cantonese by MC Andy Cheng so that everyone could fully understand the ceremony.

Stephen noted that while Richard and Jielin share the same values and Chinese cultural roots, they “experience their Chinese American heritage in very different ways” and sometimes rely on each other for translation. Richard is learning Cantonese but relies on Jielin’s assistance to communicate with her parents. Jielin is fluent in English, but Richard helps her understand non-translatable slang and idioms.

After they were pronounced husband and wife, the couple interlocked arms and sipped champagne. They then exchanged love letters, which they will keep unopened, in a safe place, to be read on a future special occasion.

Jielin and Richard had been planning and practicing for their first dance since moving in together, attending lessons and practicing their choreography as nightly homework. “Our first dance song was a medley — first a waltz, then ‘Beautiful and White’ by Shane Filan, and then we moved into Bruno Mars’ ‘Marry You,’ which was fun and full of energy,” Richard said.

The two later changed into traditional Chinese wedding outfits and treated their 200 guests to a traditional lion dance performed by the Penn Lions.

Jielin savored her walk down the aisle. “We walked down slowly so that I could enjoy the moment of being together with my dad and the fact that I was about to marry Richard,” she said.

“She looked really pretty in her wedding dress,” Richard said. “When she finally got up to us, I shook her dad’s hand and he asked me a question in Chinese. I think I answered correctly,” he joked. “The wedding kept going.”

Her father asked Richard to take good care of his daughter, Jielin said, and Richard’s affirmative answer was perfect.

The couple spent two weeks in Hawaii, relaxing on Waikiki Beach, eating their way around Honolulu, and hiking through a very dark night to see an erupting volcano on the Big Island.

Richard and Jielin, who earlier this year welcomed a second corgi, Mimi, into their lives, look forward to someday parenting babies.

Love isn’t just about marriage and love stories don’t stop at the wedding: We’re looking for stories about all kinds of love from parents and children, best friends, siblings, newlyweds and to-be-weds, and couples with experience. To be featured in an upcoming Love column, please send an email to love@inquirer.com with your names, a few sentences about your story, and the best way to reach you. Please include your email address