Friends first, they are nurturing their relationship as it grows

It was clear from Peter’s online profile that he was exactly what Jill needed – for someone else.

“About four years ago, I had a shortage of men over 50,” said Jill, who started Sweet Beginnings introduction services in 1986.

Her message to Peter got straight to the point. “I’m a local matchmaker. I need men for my service. Would you be interested in meeting some of my female clients?”

Why not, thought Peter, a chiropractor originally from Queens, N.Y. His first marriage had ended in divorce many years ago. He had been with his late life partner, Marge, for 20 happy years and married to her for seven when she died of pancreatic cancer more than a decade ago.

“That was very difficult,” he said. “And then I was single and the whole dating world had changed.” So when a matchmaker offered to make him a match, “I thought, ‘I’ll try this, because I didn’t have that much success with online dating.’ ”

At that time, Jill, who grew up in Levittown, Pa., was married to Nate. Over the next couple of years, she called Peter several times to set him up with a client. Some of those setups went well, others not so well, Peter said. None led to anything long-term.

With each phone call, Jill, now 65, and Peter, now 70, learned a little more about each other: They are neighbors, living only a few blocks apart in Bensalem. Peter has an adult daughter, Katy, from his first marriage, and a granddaughter, Piper, who is now 8. Jill’s sister, Robin, has intellectual disabilities and Jill shares caretaking duties with her father. Jill lives with a large, silver-colored cat named Sterling.

“We talked about meeting as friends, since we live in the same neighborhood,” said Jill. But that never happened, and then Jill’s busy life got busier. Nate, her husband of 14-plus years, became increasingly ill starting in October 2021. He had diabetes, developed severe pancreatitis, and, in December 2021, died of sepsis. “Everything happened so quick,” said Jill.

When she returned to work, Jill was flipping through some notes and came across Peter’s number. She called him and shared what had happened to Nate. A few phone calls later, the two decided to finally meet in person. In late January 2022, Jill and her sister met Peter at a corner a few blocks away. The three of them walked around the neighborhood, and when they came to Jill’s house, she invited him in to talk more.

Jill liked Peter very much and was surprised to find herself attracted to him. “I found him intelligent, and I liked his personality,” she said. “It was rare for me to feel something like that so quickly.”

“It took me longer,” said Peter. But from the start, he was glad to have a new friend, and a friendship is what they built first. “I kept my options open,” Jill said. “I was still meeting other people.” She even tried online dating.

Then in March, Peter realized he was interested in Jill as more than a friend, and their relationship took a romantic turn. “She’s got a great personality – she’s really bubbly – and she is interested in learning new things,” Peter said. “She is a happy person who takes life in stride. She has persevered through tough things that have gone on in her life. And she is just good to be around.”

Peter, who holds degrees from SUNY Binghamton and Life College in Marietta, Ga., is into exercise, health, cooking, and travel. Jill said she has always had an interest in those things, but never previously had the chance to pursue them.

The two have traveled to Washington and explored Virginia and New York’s Hudson Valley. They hope to travel more. “Hopefully someplace together nice and warm and toasty where we can enjoy each other’s company,” Peter said.

But Jill said there’s also plenty of adventure closer to home. There are walks and hikes and drum circles. There’s also just talking and cooking for each other and hanging out at one of their homes.

“I’ve changed my whole way of cooking – I’m trying more vegan and vegetarian stuff, and I enjoy it,” she said.

“The most important thing is Peter’s mind,” Jill said. “He’s a great communicator and our temperaments are similar – calm and laid back. I had led a sheltered existence, especially in my marriage, and I feel that he has introduced me to a new world and is helping me grow.”

Jill, who was a marriage counselor before launching her dating service, estimates that her matchmaking has resulted in at least 100 marriages or long-term relationships. But her experiences with Peter have opened her mind about who to introduce to whom.

“We are in some ways very different,” she said. “I make a lot of decisions based on emotion. He’s more pragmatic. I’m warm and fuzzy. He’s more to the point. I didn’t go away to college (her master’s degree in counseling is from the College of New Jersey, which was Trenton State College at the time). I have stayed more close to the hearth. He’s a free spirit.”

Previously, she would not have been likely to match someone like Peter with someone like herself, she said. But now if a client isn’t meshing well with people with whom they have much in common, Jill will try matching them with someone who has more differences. And when one of her dating coach clients says they feel drawn to someone, but worry they don’t have enough in common, she’ll tell them to keep an open mind.

Jill and Peter are together every day, and have enjoyed nurturing their relationship as it grows. They remain open to future possibilities together.