50th class reunion sparks another opportunity for love

Still the social butterfly she always was, Kay was mingling with other South Philadelphia High School alums at the school’s 2007 centennial celebration when Bob, a fellow member of the Class of 1957, said hello.

Their 50th reunion was the following day, and Bob was looking for a place to sit.

Kay, who was on the prom committee in high school, was on the reunion committee with most of the 11 other women who were her high school best friends. They call themselves “The Girls,” and their sitting together was as much a given in 2007 as it had been in 1957.

Bob’s time at high school was all about academics; the future was his focus then, and he waited tables and tended bar as often as he could to save for it. Bob didn’t know too many people from high school, but he and Kay had had one class together, and he and his late wife had spoken with her and her late husband at an earlier reunion. “Could I sit at your table tomorrow?” he asked. Kay said The Girls would be glad to have him.

The next day, Bob and Kay began filling in each other on the lives they had led since high school graduation. Bob had earned a doctorate in psychology from Temple University. He was a psychologist and also taught psychology classes at Hahnemann until he retired in his late 60s. Bob was approaching 30 when he married Rita. A few years later, twins Lori and Nicole were born. The family had a happy life in Erdenheim. Then one day in 1992, Rita returned from work, had an unexpected heart attack, and died. It was devastating.

Bob had not dated anyone since. He enjoyed being a father and grandfather, strutting his stuff as a Mummer with Golden Sunrise, and traveling overseas with friends.

After high school, Kay attended modeling school and worked as a runway model for Gimbels, Wanamakers, various car dealerships, and a bridal shop. Her modeling career ended at age 22 when she married Jerry, but she later returned to work, retiring in her early 60s as a credit manager for a paper distributor. She and Jerry had three children: Michael, John, and Valerie. They had been married for 14 happy years when he was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and enjoyed every minute they could of 14 more years together until he died from the disease in 1989.

Kay had not dated anyone since. She enjoyed being a mother and grandmother and having regular local outings and travel with The Girls.

Bob and Kay, who are both now 81, didn’t just talk at their 50th high school reunion, they danced.

Kay had a wonderful photo of everyone at the table, and, since she was on the reunion committee, she found Bob’s email address and sent it to him. Bob then got Kay’s phone number from the reunion committee chair.

“He thanked me, and he asked me to lunch,” said Kay.

“I took her to Dante & Luigi’s, my favorite restaurant for all these many years,” said Bob.

That lunch was so nice that they began eating together at least twice a month. Sometimes, Bob would drive from his home in Erdenheim to hers in South Philadelphia to pick Kay up. Sometimes Kay would cook — as was the case on Aug. 12, 2008.

“He always brought me something,” Kay said. Sometimes it was flowers. Sometimes candy. Once, after she had mentioned her toaster had broken, Bob showed up with a brand-new one.

“When I opened the door that day, he had a bottle of champagne.”

Kay set out the flutes. “Aren’t you going to open it?” she asked. “Not now,” said Bob. After they ate, Kay excused herself to get dessert from the kitchen. When she returned, Bob handed her a full glass, picked up his own, and said, “What do you say we stop playing around and we turn this into a serious relationship?”

Before that lunch, they were friends. Afterward, they told their family and friends they were dating.

“She is a very nice person, and I wanted to be with her,” said Bob. “For the first time since my wife died, I felt so comfortable with someone that I could be serious about her.”

“I cared about him and thought he was a really nice guy,” said Kay. “I never expected him to say that, but when he did, I was glad.”

For nearly 15 years, Bob and Kay have been together. Prior to the arrival of COVID-19, they celebrated holidays with each other’s families, made frequent trips down the Shore, traveled, and enjoyed the region’s restaurants. They are within each other’s bubble, so not even the hunkering down of the past year has kept them from their weekly time together: She stays at his place in Erdenheim for a few days one week, then he stays at hers in South Philadelphia the next. Sometimes when Kay goes to Erdenheim, Bobbi Bear, the calico cat named after Bob who they like to call their “kid together,” travels, too.

Between visits, they talk by phone multiple times each day. Before COVID, each often spent the between days with friends, but Bob and Kay have temporarily reduced the size of their circles until both have full immunity.

The couple has no plans to marry or even live together full-time, Kay says, because they really love the life they’ve built as it is.

“We like each other,” said Bob. “I think it’s just that simple.”