For Kristen and Josh Oestreich, of East Norriton, it’s important to live a meaningful life

THE PARENTS: Kristen Oestreich, 30, and Josh Oestreich, 31, of East Norriton

THE CHILDREN: Caleb Joshua, 5; Lenna Glory, 3; Shiloh Grace, born Sept. 1, 2019

THEIR NAMES: They were drawn to biblical names for Caleb and Shiloh, as well as the girls’ middle names. And Lenna, they learned, means “lionhearted,” a description that fits their middle child’s fierce will and “big personality.”

This time, she was determined to keep it a surprise — at least, for a day. So after a private burst of tears in the bathroom, Kristen jotted some goals and intentions on pages of a 2019 calendar and coaxed Josh into a conversation about their hopes for the coming year.

On the September grid, she’d written, “Have Baby O #3.”

“He just looked at it. He didn’t say anything. I said, ‘Did you see September?’ ”

Josh was still trying to make sense of the note: How could Kristen be pregnant already, when just a few weeks earlier, he’d finally made peace with the idea of having a third? Finally, his shock yielded to excitement. “Awesome,” he said. “That’s great!”

Whether to have children was never a question, but they were young when they married — 21 and 22, just a wave from childhood themselves. In a sense, they’d known each other all their lives; their parents became friends 37 years ago after meeting in a Bible study group, and even after Kristen’s family moved to Georgia, they continued to visit.

Josh remembers Kristen and her sister teasing him; Kristen recalls a ride on the back of Josh’s father’s motorcycle when she was 8 or 9. By the time they reconnected as young adults, both had gone through rough patches in high school and college, experimenting with alcohol and questioning their faith.

Josh headed to Geneva College, a private Christian school, interested only in “fun, freedom, and football.” But a Bible-based men’s retreat in 2008 was an epiphany. “My heart was softened and the Lord broke through,” he says. “I changed my major from business to student ministry.”

Meanwhile, Kristen also had strayed from the church, then returned with born-again commitment. “I knew I wanted to lead a life that was meaningful.” And as the two began leaving messages on one another’s Facebook walls, then direct-messaging, then talking on the phone, they realized that their life goals chimed.

At the time, Josh was working as a youth minister in Moose Factory, Ontario, an island of 3,000 people. “We had to learn how to communicate because we were in two different countries. We got to know each other’s personalities and characters.”

Josh proposed just after Thanksgiving 2010 — a hike through the woods while both families gathered in the Poconos for the holiday — and they were married the following August.

Kristen envisioned being a stay-at-home mom to four children; Josh thought three would be the ideal number. But for the first several years, it was just the two of them — back in Moose Factory, working as youth ministers. The kids affectionately called them “Josh and Kristen O.”

After one very early miscarriage, a positive pregnancy test triggered as much anxiety as excitement. That was the start of a difficult nine months — nausea so severe that Kristen needed IV fluids on more than one occasion, and then, at 38 weeks, the news that Moose Factory did not have an OB to deliver the baby.

They left the island — by boat, then a five-hour train trip — to give birth at a hospital in New Liskeard, Ontario. And just a week after a painful labor, she took that same train-and-boat trip back to the island.

“During labor, I was like: Wait, people come back and do this again?”

They did. Caleb was 18 months old when Kristen felt a wave of debilitating fatigue. Her in-laws were visiting, so she made a little sign for Caleb: “I’m going to be a big brother.”

This pregnancy was rough in all the same ways — constant nausea, overwhelming exhaustion — exacerbated by their decision to return to the United States when Kristen was in her third trimester. “I was 32 weeks pregnant, packing an entire house, chasing after Caleb, still doing stuff with the youth [ministry].”

They moved into Josh’s parents’ one-bedroom in-law suite, and Lenna arrived two weeks early, before they’d even had a chance to unpack. Kristen, Josh, and the baby slept in the apartment’s living room, while Caleb had the bedroom. “It was a really hard recovery. Several of my stitches tore. We had boxes everywhere.”

Meantime, Josh was adjusting from the laid-back pace of Moose Factory, working in construction while he sought a job in the church. For a while, he felt content with two children. But Kristen wanted a third.

What’s more, she wanted a different kind of birth experience this time around. She was older, more knowledgeable about her body, more assertive about her wishes. She’d read books about natural childbirth — “you’re in pain, but you’re not in trouble” was a mantra that made sense to her — and found a midwife practice.

At Einstein Medical Center Montgomery, she managed to labor the way she wanted — using a birth ball, finding relief in the shower — until, after 27 hours, the midwife suggested an epidural to help her body relax. Shiloh arrived three hours later.

“It was different because she wasn’t the first,” Josh recalls. “But I still cried. You think, ‘How can I love another one like this?’ But your heart just expands with each child.”

Now, there are moments of hilarity — Lenna calling her father and brother “dude” — counterpoised with chaos: Kristen and all three kids at Caleb’s basketball practice, everybody hungry, with the diaper bag temporarily misplaced and a trudge to a different building, across a muddy field, to retrieve it.

This couple believes in parenting by the book: the Bible through which they filter and make sense of their lives. The kids are a mirror for their shortcomings — selfishness, pride, a short temper — and their strengths.

Sometimes, in a burst of exasperation, Kristen will say to the kids, “See? Mommy struggles, too.” She’ll stop for a moment of prayer, and Caleb might pray with her. “I can be very hard on myself,” she says, “and they love me so much.”