For couple, 55 years of love and support

Vince, a U.S. Army draftee, was lucky enough to have a 15-day pass from Fort Benning, Ga., plans to spend the 1964 holiday season with family in Philadelphia, and a blind date for New Year’s Eve.

The first leg of his journey was in a Caribou transport plane that had been damaged in an earlier exercise, so the hold was wide open. “We were flying paper airplanes out of it,” he remembered. His bus ride from Washington to Philly was uneventful, but he arrived home in the middle of a snowstorm and found a friend trying desperately to free his car. “I took my jacket off and got him moved out of the snow,” Vince said. The next morning, “I was in excruciating pain. My mother took my temperature, and it was 104.”

He was unlucky enough to have pneumonia, spend three days in an oxygen tent and a total of six in the hospital, and miss both Christmas and his scheduled New Year’s Eve date with Barbara Alesio.

Once released from the hospital, Vince called Barbara — the best friend of his friend’s girlfriend — and asked to try again.

He took her to see Becket, a British drama about King Henry II and his friend, Bishop Thomas Becket.

“It was not the ideal first date, but it was something he wanted to do, and I wanted to make a good impression,” Barbara said.

“She was not impressed,” Vince said. Well, not with the movie, Barbara admits. But they fit in two more dates before his Jan. 12 return to Fort Benning. On Jan. 13, Vince wrote Barbara a letter that launched a flurry of correspondence. With each word read and written, they knew and liked each other more.

Vince was part of the original 11th Air Assault Division, assigned to the cadre. His letters to Barbara described his Army life and also often included poetry that she inspired.

He had just two months of service left when the first members of his unit were deployed. He was notified three times to draw his combat gear, but each time, someone decided it didn’t make sense to send such a short-timer. He was honorably discharged in March 1965 without serving overseas. Barbara picked him up at the airport, and they have been together ever since.

For Christmas that year, Vince got Barbara a gorgeous jewelry box. “I assumed when I opened one of the drawers, there would have been a ring inside,” she said. “But that did not occur.”

The following Christmas Eve, in 1966, Vince had the ring and was so eager to propose that when a snowstorm made it impossible to drive, he walked from his parents’ home in West Philadelphia to her parents’ home in Manayunk. “it took me 2½ hours,” he said.

Vince sat with Barbara at the big kitchen table, which was where the family ate and where her mother, a seamstress, did all of her sewing. “He was a little shy to get to the point,” Barbara remembers. “He said something like, ‘I think this is what we have to do’ – I wasn’t pregnant or anything. He meant this is our next step.”

Vince got the question out eventually and, due to the storm, stayed overnight for the first time at Barbara’s house — in the guest room, her parents made sure.

Early in 1967, Barbara’s mother, Mary, was diagnosed with breast cancer. “She was only 59. She was depressed. People were calling her to sew for them, and she couldn’t do it,” Barbara remembers. “I said to Vince, ‘I think we’re going to have to think about setting a wedding date.’”

They chose April 27, 1968, and just as Barbara predicted, her mother sprang back to life and to the work she loved. “She made all of the bridesmaids’ dresses, the flower girl dress, and she made my wedding dress,” Barbara said.

Vince, who is now 79, and Barbara, 78, were married in a traditional Catholic ceremony. Theirs was the first wedding at St. Lucy’s Church in Manayunk, Vince said. They honeymooned in the Bahamas.

The couple bought their first home in Roxborough. Ten years later, they moved to a new home in Andorra, in Philadelphia’s Northwest section, where they raised their children, Vincent and Andrea. Seventeen years ago, they downsized to their current home in Plymouth Meeting.

Vince spent much of his career in the transportation industry. He worked for the Pennsylvania Railroad — where Barbara had once been a hole punch operator — then became a ticket agent for United Airlines, and then a sales representative with Northeast Airlines. When Northeast was bought by Delta, Vince became a sports team account representative, something the former Overbrook High School and Triangle Athletic Club quarterback loved.

“I arranged travel for the Phillies, the Eagles, and the Flyers,” he said. “I took the Eagles to the Super Bowl in New Orleans, the Flyers to the Stanley Cup, and the Phillies to the World Series,” he said.

Working for the airlines meant the family could travel for free or nearly so. Their trips included St. Pete Beach and Disney World. Sometimes, Vince would take the kids out of school so they could travel with him — that was educational too, he reasoned.

He and Barbara wanted to send their children to Catholic schools and provide them with occasional extras, prompting Barbara to go back to work.

“I worked as a waitress and I did housecleaning, during the hours they were in school so I could be there when they got home,” she said. Once they were in high school, Barbara started a real estate career, working for more than two decades as an office administrator for several agencies, most recently for Long & Foster.

“It was all hands on deck to give a nice life to our kids,” Vince said.

He followed his first retirement at 55 with a second career in golf — a sport he loves. He taught at an indoor facility called Golf Augusta and also served as the Gulph Mills caddy master.

These days, he plays golf two days a week and works for DoorDash.

Barbara no longer works, but she’s plenty busy. “I am the caregiver and the peacemaker in this family,” she said. The family has grown to include three grandchildren, Sophie, Caden, and Ella. Until COVID-19, Barbara was highly involved with the Lioness organization. And she’s very good at the strategic use of coupons.

Barbara and Vince don’t share a lot of interests outside their family and each other — he does his thing, she does hers — but they meet back at home to go out to dinner or watch TV. While different, they find much to admire about each other.

“She is a world-class mother to her children — she lets them spill out their problems and helps them try to resolve them,” Vince said. “She is a great cook and is always looking to make something new. And she knows what I like food-wise and makes sure we never run out of anything. We have extra, even.”

“One of the things that’s good in our relationship is he tries to keep me on an even keel,” Barbara said. “I love that he is so good to his children and that he supports me pretty much with anything — he always has.”

This April, they will celebrate their 55th wedding anniversary. This summer, Vince will turn 80. Specific plans for the celebrations have yet to be determined, but Vince hopes for a gathering of the family — kids, grandkids, and dogs. “What would make him happy is something simple with everyone he cares about,” Barbara said.