This Philly couple’s relationship began when she offered a bookcase. They proposed while washing the dishes.

May 12, 2022, in Philadelphia

Daniel and Nicole met in 2011 at the home of their Kalamazoo College professor, who gathered students from several classes to savor strawberries and ice cream and ponder big questions about equity, sustainability, and community.

“She was such a stunningly beautiful woman, and I was immediately struck by her insightful and intentional comments,” said Daniel.

“I remember being struck by his thoughtful reflections and the way he articulated himself,” said Nicole. “After leaving the gathering, I looked him up on Facebook and I remember thinking how very handsome he was.”

Daniel and Nicole each concluded they had no chance with the other. Neither did anything about this.

In the last semester of their senior year, the two anthropology and sociology majors took the same student-designed, community-building class. They got to know each other better while learning to make cheese, beer, and pierogi. Class ended. Graduation happened.

Nicole was getting ready to move back to Michigan when she saw Daniel’s Facebook post seeking a bookcase. She sent photos of the cheap and wobbly one she was hoping to get rid of, and he said it was perfect.

On Nicole’s last night in Kalamazoo, she and Daniel wound up at the same party. When it ended, he offered to walk her the mile back to her apartment. It was the first time it had ever been just the two of them, and they talked the whole way to her complex.

“I’m having such a nice time,” said Nicole, made brave by her imminent departure. “Do you want to keep going?”

He took her to one of his favorite places, the oldest section of the Western Michigan University campus. They climbed the stairs of a building on a hill and sat beneath its columns. “It was a beautiful, clear night and we looked at the stars and out over the city while we talked for hours,” he remembers.

They spoke about how great college had been and the excitement and fear of an unknown future. To their great surprise, they also felt completely comfortable talking about deeply personal things, which led to joint confessions that they had been drawn to each other since the first time they met two years earlier.

During their sunlit walk back to Nicole’s apartment, they decided this amazing connection was worth pursuing despite challenging circumstances.

“It felt crazy — neither one of us knew what we were doing next or where we would land,” said Daniel.

Nicole and her parents dropped off the bookcase. Daniel asked if he could visit her over the Fourth of July. They swapped pieces of paper with their addresses, and Nicole went home.

That July, Daniel drove from Kalamazoo to Nicole’s dad’s place in Northville, Mich. Later that weekend, he and Nicole drove an hour north to join friends for an Independence Day party. By the end of the trip, the couple was exclusive. Daniel had already decided to move to Chicago, where he worked as a hotel bellman, and Nicole was to return to Kalamazoo, where she worked with a neighbors association. They saw each other monthly in his city or hers.

Then in 2014, Daniel’s dad had a heart attack. It was relatively minor, but it made Daniel realize he was farther from his family than he wanted to be. Not long after, he received an offer to work year-round at a kids’ nature camp where he had once been a counselor. “We had been together for only a year, but I asked Nicole if she would move with me.”

That September, they drove a U-haul truck to Connecticut. The job came with some very rustic housing. “She transformed it into a home,” Daniel said.

Nicole found work in New Haven with the nonprofit All Our Kin, which supports home-based childcare educators who work with children from infants to age 3. The couple later moved to New Haven, where Daniel worked for a tech start-up. About two years later, Nicole won a Fulbright scholarship to teach English in Spain, and it was Daniel’s turn to move for her.

The couple, who are now both 31, later lived in New York City, and they rode out some of the pandemic with Daniel’s parents. When he decided to go to law school, they thought carefully about cities and targeted Philadelphia. Just before they met, Daniel had spent six months here working for Nationalities Service Center, a refugee resettlement organization.

He is now entering his third year of law school at Temple University. Nicole now works remotely with All Our Kin, where she is director of institutional giving. They live in Brewerytown with their dog, Luna.

Nicole is humbled by Daniel’s ability to see the best in her, even when she’s not being her best self. She admires the way he gives people the benefit of the doubt and always considers their intent. She loves how, as busy as he is, he makes her and the rest of his family the center of his life.

Daniel admires how much and deeply Nicole cares about people — from her family to her coworkers. He loves the way she communicates — open and clearly and direct while also being caring and warm. “I haven’t met anyone else who matches that,” he said.

In October 2021, Nicole was reading Michelle Zauner’s Crying in H Mart and that memoir, coupled with the lessons learned from relatives’ health issues and the COVID-19 pandemic, had her thinking about the fragility of life and the importance of sharing the big moments with the people you love. “It’s important to me that my grandmother be there when we get married,” she said as the couple cleaned up after Sunday night dinner.

Daniel stopped his dish-doing. “Are you proposing to me?” he asked.

That wasn’t her original intent, but Nicole embraced his suggestion.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m doing,” she said.

“Of course,” Daniel said. “I would love to.”

The couple married May 12 in one of their favorite places: Wissahickon Valley Park, in front of the dam. “It was clear Philadelphia is where we wanted to put our roots down, and this is a place we can take our kids and show them where it happened,” said Nicole.

Seven guests attended in person: Nicole’s parents, sister, and grandma; Dan’s parents and brother. More than 200 others watched via livestream as the couple wed beneath an arch constructed of ladders lent by loved ones. Nicole’s grandmother arranged all their flowers, including the bride’s bouquet and the groom’s boutonniere. Luna wore a neck kerchief that matched Nicole’s gown.

Journeys of the Heart officiant Naila Francis led the couple through a ceremony that included their story, readings from their love letters to each other, and vows they kept secret until the moment they read them.

Nicole promised to always support each of them becoming the best versions of themselves, even though that involves change and growth that can be hard. Daniel promised an equal partnership of equal decision makers, and that he would support and encourage Nicole as she explores a passion for creative writing.

The rings they exchanged are inscribed inside with a quote from Kurt Vonnegut: “If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.”

After the ceremony, the group enjoyed a meal at Suraya.

The couple enjoyed a long weekend mini-moon in Kingston, N.Y., and intend to travel in northern Spain and Portugal after Daniel takes the bar exam. He has accepted a position at Cozen O’Connor that will begin in fall 2023.

Daniel and Nicole hope that sharing their story of nearly-missed love inspires others who admire someone to be brave and take the first step.

And that wobbly bookcase Nicole gave Daniel right after graduation? They still have it but it’s currently in storage at his parents’ house until the day they have a home big enough to use it. “Despite it not being our style at all, we won’t ever get rid of it,” Daniel said.