Lisa Scottoline: All that litters

I’m thinking about jewelry.

And I’m coming out in favor.

I’ll tell you what I mean.

It’s the holidays, and I’ve been buying gifts and thinking about gifts. I always used to buy jewelry, but in more recent years, I’ve been wondering how smart that is. Mainly because online, I see more and more estate sales. And then I started to go to auctions, and I realized something that should’ve been obvious to me.

People die.

And one day, I am going to, too.

Which sucks.

But leaving that aside, it struck me that all the stuff I’ve been accumulating over my life, especially jewelry, is going to end up having to be sold off by someone.

This may be an old-person observation, but bear with me.

Because you’re going to get there one day, I guarantee it.

The most expensive thing I buy is jewelry, and, I’ve been wondering about the wisdom of doing that, especially since it ties up a lot of money, and will be sold for pennies on the dollar.

I’m not sure it’s a great investment, and if you want to ensure your future, there are probably better things you can buy.

Like a politician.

Just kidding.

To return to point, when I see jewelry at auctions, it can look like a bunch of junk.

So is it glitter, or litter?

What’s the value of jewelry?

And should I stop buying it?

I answered no.

I say this because I actually had a dream about my late mother, and many of you may have dreams about your loved ones, maybe around the holidays. It’s incredible how dreams are full of details you forget in your waking moments, since most of the time, I can’t remember where I put my car keys.

But in the dream, I remembered everything about Mother Mary.

And I woke up smelling More 100s smoke.

Just kidding again.

I dreamed exactly what her hands looked like, and the wedding band that she always used to wear. It was fairly thick, and had a basket weave, and I thought it was beautiful on her hand. And then my parents got divorced and she sold the ring.

D’oh!

She got two hundred dollars.

Which, today, is the cost of a carton of More 100s.

But the ring had a value that had nothing to do with an unhappy marriage, and much more to do with how much I love my mother and how that ring reflected a certain time in my life.

Childhood.

What’s the price of your childhood?

You tell me.

Just by way of experiment, I asked Daughter Francesca if she remembered me wearing any particular piece of jewelry, and she told me about a watch I used to wear, which I still have in my jewelry box.

After my talk with Francesca, I took a tour through my jewelry box and I saw lots of pieces, not necessarily expensive. I saw a happy-face ring my mother had given me, and a necklace from my father. I saw my class rings from high school and college. I saw earrings and necklaces from an old boyfriend, and Thing One, and Thing Two, from back when I used to have sex.

And more recently, I bought myself some jewelry that I really love, like my so-called engagement ring, which is a diamond ring that I wear every day to remind myself to stay engaged with life.

It’s a really expensive pun.

And a few little rings that I wear on my ring finger, like I married gold.

Every piece of jewelry is a snapshot of a time in your life.

You might think that’s a photograph, but when was the last time you framed a photograph?

Much less wore it every day on your hand?

That’s what I’m talking about.

Jewelry is your life at its shiniest.

Every piece is your own personal history.

There are worse things than spending a few bucks on that.

Even if it doesn’t earn a few bucks later.

Look for Lisa and Francesca Serritella’s humor collection, “I See Life Through Rosé-Colored Glasses,” and Lisa’s novel, “Someone Knows,” in stores now. Also look for Francesca’s debut novel, “Ghosts of Harvard,” coming May 2020..