Philly health department writes excused absence note to firefighter’s mom about social distancing - and now you can get one, too

When it comes to guilt, there is a kind that only children of Philadelphia mothers know.

It keeps them coming over for red gravy every Sunday, and it makes sure they don’t miss a family barbecue at Belmont Plateau. (Oh, you wanted to go to a concert? Well, I wanted an epidural.)

But with social distancing, getting together with family is hard — especially for front-line workers and first responders who don’t want to risk transmitting the coronavirus to their parents.

Jen Leary — a Philadelphia firefighter stationed at Engine 78 at Philadelphia International Airport and founder of Red Paw Emergency Relief Team, a nonprofit that assists pets displaced by fires and other disasters — is in just such a situation.

Not only is she around 15 to 18 people a day in a firehouse, she’s still volunteering with Red Paw, which, like many other nonprofits, has had its funding deeply impacted by the quarantine.

Leary’s partner makes her change out of her clothes in their sunroom when she gets home at night, spray everything down, and put her clothes in a paper bag. She’s not seen her twin sister, Marion, or her niece in weeks.

Yet Leary’s mom, Angela Siravo — whom she last saw when they got pizza at Tacconelli’s at the end of February — still wants to pop in for a visit, like it’s the 1950s or something.

“But there is just no way to know who could be infected, and even if I’m infected,” said Leary, 42, of Point Breeze. “So the best thing to do is stay away from my mom and others, as much as possible anyway.”

Frustrated by her mother’s repeated requests to visit and the resulting Philadelphia-Italian-Catholic-mother guilt when those requests are denied, Leary took to Twitter Thursday to voice her concerns — and to redirect the shade from her mom to the Philadelphia Department of Public Health.

» FAQ: Your coronavirus questions, answered.

“Every time I talk to my mom she says she wants to stop over & every time I have to say no, you can’t & every time she yells at me,” Leary wrote. “Like I’m saying ‘no’ to intentionally hurt her in some way (typical Italian mom stuff). I didn’t make the rules, take it up w @PHLPublicHealth, mom!”

In response, the Public Health Department wrote Leary an excused-absence note to give to her mom.

“Dear Jen’s mom: This is the Health Dept. Jen is not allowed to accept visitors at this time, just like everyone else. We know it’s hard, and we miss Jen, too. But it’s so we can keep everyone safe. We promise she still loves you and will let you know as soon as you can stop by.”

Leary said she’ll “absolutely” use the letter.

“How could I not?” she said. “When I was writing the tweet I had a feeling that if I tossed it up for the Health Department, they’d hit it out of the park, and they did!"

Department of Public Health spokesperson James Garrow, who authored the letter, said he’s since heard from a number of other people who’ve asked for a similar letter for their parents.

That inspired the department to create a form letter “in the vein of those ‘please excuse me from work today to go to the parade’ letters that circulate after sports championships,” he said.

Available on the city’s website, the fill-in-your-own-name “Coronavirus Visitation Excuse Note” reads in part:

“Please excuse ____________ as they decline to receive your visit at this time. They are following the guidance of the Philadelphia Department of Public Health, who has asked that everyone stay home and away from other people during the coronavirus pandemic.”

During the pandemic, the department’s Twitter account has not only kept residents up to date, it’s been using humor to help drive home important messaging.

Earlier Thursday, the account — run by Garrow and his colleagues — handled the question of whether it’s OK to have sex during COVID-19 by tweeting “Let’s talk about sex, baby!” along with a picture of Salt-n-Pepa and a link to more information.

Long story short, the department says sex during COVID-19 is “complicated” and masturbation “is your safest option.”

“It’s still important to practice hand hygiene by washing your hands with soap and water for 20 seconds before and after (sing Happy Birthday twice),” the department said. “It’s also important to wash any sex toys with soap and water.”

Other notable posts from the account quote Beyoncé (“I sneezed on the beat, and the beat got sicker”) and MC Hammer (“Can’t touch this”) to talk about the spread of germs.

The department has even used the distance between Pat’s and Geno’s and the span of an eagle’s wings to get across social distancing concepts.

Garrow said the goal of the account is to prepare Philadelphians for important health messages and to make them realize the coronavirus isn’t “some unquantifiable threat."

“There’s a bias in disaster psychology to not accept that a terrible thing is actually happening,” Garrow said. “We literally cannot wrap our brains around the idea that this is happening now, to me.”

The department’s “sillier tweets” are there not only to get people to follow the account for more critical information, but to try to make the pandemic “relatable to folks’ real life,” he said.

“We think this is the best practice in getting good public health information out there, a blend of approachable and serious,” Garrow said.