The Eagles have officially become so bad that the NFL doesn’t even want the rest of America watching them.

The league announced that the Birds’ Nov. 22 matchup against the Pittsburgh Steelers is getting bumped from its coveted 4:25 p.m. national broadcast to a 1 p.m. kickoff. Apparently, seven straight losses are enough to convince the NFL that the Battle of Pennsylvania isn’t worth broadcasting to the entire country.

And the replacement? The Jacksonville Jaguars and New York Giants. When the NFL decides Jacksonville is a bigger television draw than Philadelphia, you know things have gotten ugly.

It’s a pretty humiliating fall for a franchise that was playing in the Super Bowl less than two years ago. Now, even Nick Sirianni seems to be running out of answers.

The good news, if you can call it that, is that Eagles fans will have three extra hours to recover from whatever fresh disappointment awaits us that Sunday.

For nearly 30 years, the SS United States sat rusting along the Delaware River, becoming as much a part of South Philly’s landscape as the Ikea across the street.

And now, after decades of failed attempts to save it, the historic ocean liner is officially at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico.

But even its final goodbye couldn’t go according to plan.

The ship that once broke records for crossing the Atlantic took practically an entire day to sink. Hundreds of spectators gathered on boats off the Florida coast to watch the historic moment, only to spend hours staring at a vessel that was barely moving. Some eventually gave up and headed home before it disappeared beneath the waves around 10 p.m.

There’s something painfully fitting about a ship that spent decades refusing to go anywhere making everyone wait one last time.

Of course, it’s sad that such an important piece of maritime history couldn’t find a permanent home above water. But becoming the world’s largest artificial reef is certainly a more interesting retirement than being turned into scrap metal.

Farewell to the Ikea boat. You took your sweet time leaving us, and apparently you weren’t in any hurry to leave Florida, either.

There are certain things Philadelphians don’t like being told. That our cheesesteaks aren’t the best. That Wawa isn’t as good as Sheetz. And now, apparently, that Wawa didn’t invent the Gobbler.

According to Philadelphia Magazine, the Thanksgiving sandwich has a history stretching back more than a century, with various combinations of turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce appearing long before Wawa got involved.

Even the name wasn’t Wawa’s idea. Kraft was advertising a stuffing-filled sandwich called the Gobbler in 1992, a full 16 years before Wawa introduced its version in 2008.

And some of the earlier attempts sound downright criminal. A 1974 creation called the Goober Gobbler combined turkey, peanut butter, and mayonnaise. Whoever came up with that should have been banned from Thanksgiving dinner.

Still, Wawa deserves some credit. It took a sandwich that had been floating around for decades and turned it into a fall obsession — Philly’s pumpkin spice. By September, we’re apparently ready to eat Thanksgiving dinner out of a paper wrapper.

Wawa didn’t invent the Gobbler. Fine. But we’re still claiming it as ours.

Mark Ruffalo has been spending a lot of time in Delco filming the second season of HBO’s Task, and apparently he’s figured out one of the most important rules of living around here: Everything happens at Wawa.

The actor has been getting his meals from South Philly chef Carly Foglia, who prepares everything from vegan lasagna to tofu tiramisu to accommodate his dietary restrictions. And where does an Emmy-nominated Hollywood star pick up his specially prepared meals?

The Wawa parking lot, of course.

Forget fancy restaurants or private catering trailers. Somewhere in Delco, the Incredible Hulk is meeting a woman with Tupperware containers outside a Wawa, probably while someone else is trying to get around them to reach the gas pumps.

Foglia revealed that Ruffalo has quite the sweet tooth, which means the man playing a gritty FBI agent is apparently surviving on cashew-based cheesecake bites between takes.

Philadelphia lost a little bit of internet joy this week.

Tormund, the orange South Philly cat who became famous for standing on his hind legs with his belly sticking out and his little paws dangling in front of him, has died.

The beloved rescue cat amassed nearly 300,000 followers simply by standing around looking ridiculous. And really, isn’t that the dream? Imagine becoming an internet celebrity just for getting off the couch.

But Tormund was more than a meme. He was a beloved member of the Holden family, who shared his antics with the world for six years. When his health suddenly declined, fans raised nearly $5,000 in just three days to help cover his veterinary care.

Sadly, Tormund couldn’t be saved. His family plans to direct remaining donations to a relative battling brain cancer, giving his devoted following one more opportunity to do some good.

And for an orange cat from South Philly, that’s a pretty remarkable legacy.

The Phillies may have given us another disappointing October, but at least Zack Wheeler is still giving us something to celebrate.

After undergoing surgery for thoracic outlet syndrome, a condition that has ended other pitchers’ careers, Wheeler returned to the mound this season and pitched like he’d never left. He finished with a 3.00 ERA and 193 strikeouts, earning himself the National League Comeback Player of the Year award this week.

Oh, and did we mention he had a rib removed during surgery and kept it as a souvenir? Some people keep their wisdom teeth. Zack Wheeler keeps a rib and then goes back to striking out major league hitters.

He didn’t miss a single start after returning in April, and he’s the first Phillie to win the award since Brad Lidge in 2008. Not bad for a guy whose career some people thought might be over.

The Phillies’ postseason may have ended far too early, but Wheeler reminded us why he’s one of the best pitchers in baseball.

Give the man his trophy... and maybe a nice display case for that rib.