For years, Wawa fans have written songs — nay, odes — to their favorite convenience store.
A Twitter account called @WawaBangers has even tracked the often-confounding tunes that pump through Wawa sound systems everywhere (“Eye of the Tiger." “Can’t Touch This.” “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone.” Do you want us to fight, dance, or cry Wawa?!).
The playlist was announced in a news release issued by a New York City communications firm. The release says the songs “were designed for those true fans, who will actually listen to them while driving to ‘the shore,’ on their way to a Phillies’ game or at a backyard barbecue.”
A Wawa spokeswoman said she was checking into the playlist.
Lettuce break these songs down for you:
“H.O.A.G.I.E.F.E.S.T” by The Meatball Mann and Shorti K
This sounds like the Delco version of Taylor Swift wrote a song about Wawa and going downashore.
Our favorite line is when Shorti K sings:,“Roasted turkey with provolone is my jam," but Meatball Mann can’t just let the woman have her own opinion, so he comes in with “Not me, I’m a meatball man.”
No need to get saucy, Meatball Mann. Everyone can like whatever kind of hoagie they want.
“Love at the Wawa” by Shorti K and Prov-Alone
If Meghan Trainor and Justin Timberlake were from New Jersey, less talented, and in love with both each other and Wawa, this is the song they would write.
It’s a duet about a man who works behind the deli counter at Wawa and the customer who wants to touch more than his touch screen.
“Behind the counter you had all I wanted, blue eyes and a classic with some turkey on it,” the chanteuse sings. “For what you’ve got I’m hungry all the time.”
Whoa. Things are getting toasty up in this Wawa. We’ll roll with it.
“Ya Ya” by The Secret Menus
If Lil’ Wayne was Lil’ Wawa from Philly and had less flow, this hip-hop track might be something he’d sing to his kids cause it’s as clean as a Wawa restroom (which are consistently voted among the best in the country).
Our favorite lines are “Hey, hey what you want to put on that roll? Hey, hey hoagies out of control,” and “I don’t want to start a riot but there’s hoagies everywhere.”
Out-of-control hoagies invading Philly is actually a movie we’d pay money to see.
“I95” by T-Junior
If Darius Rucker decided to guest with G. Love and the Special Sauce one night, this might be the song they produce after a drunken 3 a.m. hoagie run (via Uber driver, of course).
It’s kind of country and kind of pop with extra cheese.
The male vocalist sings to his baby, “You don’t need to buy me no truck, pick me up a shorti.”
Wait, what? He expected a truck?
“You and I we’re just like two hoagies on the run” he seriously sings. “It takes two to be the secret recipe for happiness.”
Other songs we’d like added to the list
We get that the songs on this list are kid-friendly and Wally Goose approved, but we’d like to suggest a few additional tunes.
“Wawa Hoagies” by Aaron Out was an instant hit when it dropped on YouTube in early 2017 and now has more than 162,000 views. The refrain: “I need a Wawa hoagie. I need a Wawa hoagie. Should I get turkey roast beef or bologna?” is so catchy it’s like an earbug and stomach bug all in one.
Note: Contains explicit lyrics
Last year, Jimmy Fallon and The Roots even performed the song on the Tonight Show during a segment that highlights strange and funny music.
We’d also like to nominate Chris Gethard and Mal Blum’s amazing song “Crying At The Wawa” which includes lyrics like, “You’re not fine. If you were you wouldn’t be crying in line at the Greater Philadelphia area’s finest convenience store!”
Man, that’s a truth that hurts.
Note: Explicit lyrics ahead again
Finally, Beatle George Harrison wrote, performed, and recorded a song during his solo career called “Wawa" and we think that’s really “Something.”
OK, Harrison’s song is actually spelled “Wah-Wah," but it all sounds the same.