The Golden Girls were feminist icons | Opinion

Between the ages of 3 and 5, my daughter’s favorite show was The Golden Girls. She discovered it one afternoon as she flipped through basic cable channels at the Jersey Shore, salty and sandy from a day at the beach.

Her craving for more was instantaneous, so I bought her an entire season on DVD, and began subscribing to Hulu once it started streaming the series. She might be the only 5-year-old who has ever had a Golden Girls-themed birthday party, where every parent had to pin a picture of their favorite character on their shirt (I was surprised at how many Blanches I saw), and friends showered her with a Golden Girls book (Thank You For Being a Friend), puzzle, light switch plate, and some Christmas ornaments. We have two Sophia Petrillo Chia Pets.

Longtime fans know the show’s premise well: It centered around Blanche, Rose, and Dorothy, three women in their 50s (although most of the cast was in their 60s), living with Dorothy’s mother, Sophia, in Florida. Men come and go, and an occasional child or grandchild appears, but these older women are the main characters. The stories revolve around their adventures and arguments, and the minutiae of their daily lives.

This was something I wanted my daughter to see. She didn’t get the sex jokes (wow, there are so many), but she watched older women be funny and interesting enough to sustain seven award-winning seasons of a sitcom. Most importantly, the characters weren’t stuck in the caregiving roles of mom/grandma. Yes, they were those things, but there were plenty of episodes where that aspect of their lives was never mentioned.

» READ MORE: Betty White, TV’s Golden Girl, dies at 99

When I watched The Golden Girls when it originally aired in the ‘80s, I never appreciated how rare it is to see older women in the spotlight, as drivers of a storyline. But as a woman approaching middle age, watching it with my daughter, I was in awe.

As many women will say, the older we get, the more we seem to become invisible. When I am noticed, I’m often defined by my relationship to someone else: “mom.” (And maybe, in a couple of decades, “grandma.”)

I’ll never forget the beginning of the speech by Chelsea Clinton at the Democratic National Convention in 2016, when she sang Hillary’s praises as a grandmother. “My mom can be about to walk onstage for a debate or a speech, and it just doesn’t matter. She’ll drop everything for a few minutes of blowing kisses and reading Chugga Chugga Choo-Choo with her granddaughter.”

Hillary Clinton was a lawyer, the first first lady to be elected to the United States Senate, the first woman to win a statewide race in New York, and secretary of state. Yet the political framing focused on her role as grandmother. Even Kamala Harris, now vice president, feels compelled to proclaim that her most meaningful title is “Momala.”

Mothering and caregiving are important and fulfilling but are not the entirety of any woman’s life.

More than three decades ago, the Golden Girls defiantly ignored the expectation that women’s most important roles were taking care of others. They were all widowed or divorced and perfectly happy to be. They loved their kids and grandkids but had rich, interesting lives outside of that. They had sex for fun (gasp!) and were so, so funny about it. They also didn’t shy away from the hard parts of getting older: age discrimination, illness, and death. In one poignant moment, Sophia tells her daughter: “You know, Dorothy, people think if you live to be my age, you should be grateful just to be alive. Well, that’s not how it works. You need a reason to get up in the morning. And sometimes even after you find one, life can turn right around and spit in your face.”

“More than three decades earlier, the Golden Girls defiantly ignored the expectation that their most important roles were taking care of others.”

Betty White, the last surviving cast member of The Golden Girls who recently died at 99, never had children of her own. Yet by being so funny, interesting, and beloved, she showed the world that older women are not invisible. And she helped tell my daughter, and all the other young girls out there (along with some of the older ones, too), that they are more than just caregivers, or whatever people expect them to be.

Alison McCook is a writer living in Wyncote. @alisonmccook