Black women are ‘exhausted beyond measure.’ We deserve to rest. | Opinion
When my daughter asks if I am grieving or struggling, the answer is always yes.
For five weeks last year, my daughter — then 7 years old — asked me the same questions every day: How is your grief today? Are you still struggling?
And the answer was always: yes.
The truth is that I have been struggling long before May, when my father died unexpectedly. I am always struggling. Black women are always struggling.
We are surrounded by patriarchy, white supremacist systems, and ideologies that characteristically undermine, exclude, and harm us. Anti-Black racism and misogyny — or misogynoir, the distinctive form of racism faced by Black women — is suffocating. We are weary from always fighting for justice, for basic survival. We deserve to thrive.
We are constantly brutalized by wage inequity, limited access to a full range of reproductive health services (reproductive injustice), and physical, psychological, and sexual violence. Misogynoir is exacerbating the burden of COVID-19 that we already disproportionately bear. COVID-19 has hit men harder than women, and Black people harder than white people, so Black women have often had to parent alone in pandemic times. We deserve to breathe.
We are disproportionately impacted by job losses, particularly devastating for those of us with disabilities, who now have limited access to a range of resources. We deserve to flourish.
Black transgender women are facing a mental health crisis as their social support networks disintegrate. We deserve wellness.
More than any other group, Black women are having to choose between work and child care. We deserve to exhale.
We are exhausted beyond measure, unsupported, exploited, and subdued by our employers. We deserve a break.
“We are exhausted beyond measure, unsupported, exploited, and subdued by our employers.”
We grieve disproportionate numbers of COVID-19 deaths and losses in our communities while working, organizing, voting, and educating. Underpaid, unpaid, and devalued, Black women continue to give, to nurture, to build, and to fix. We show up for everyone.
Here are ways people and institutions can show up for us by ending misogynoir:
End occupational segregation. Black women should not be underrepresented in leadership positions, including in government and higher education. Promote us, recruit us, elect us, appoint us, value and recognize our work, and make resources available to support our upward mobility.
Enforce policies to eliminate the gender wage gap present at every level in every occupation. Black women should not make 63 cents for every dollar earned by a white man. Black women with advanced degrees should not make less than white men with only bachelor’s degrees. Require wage transparency, including the reporting of wage and compensation data disaggregated by gender and race. Penalize gender and racial discrimination in wages.
Raise the minimum wage to the level of a living wage. Black women are overrepresented in minimum wage service jobs.
Expand access to parental leave and sick leave. Black women have disproportionately limited access to any paid leave.
Guarantee child care. Black mothers and their children are impacted the most by the difficult choice between work and child care.
Stop penalizing Black women for being ambitious, asking questions, protecting, and speaking up for ourselves and our communities.
Ensure reproductive justice and guarantee abortion rights. Black women are among the most harmed by abortion bans.
Report and prosecute all forms of violence against us. Report data on missing Black women and girls. Enforce policies to protect us from interpersonal, institutional, and structural violence.
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In a world where entitlement to our bodies, time, and labor is the norm, and that demands unhealthy productivity from us like it did from our ancestors, protecting us and prioritizing our well-being are revolutionary actions that you can take. Every sector from legal to health care, as well as institutions, organizations, businesses, and even movements, have a legacy of failing Black women. Resolve to end misogynoir now.
To you, Black woman: Your rest is your act of resistance. Prioritize your rest by showing up for yourself the way you show up for everyone else. Unapologetically love and nurture your Black body, Black mind, and Black life. Establish boundaries because you deserve liberation.
In the meantime, to my daughter, and to all our daughters, the answer to your questions is always yes. Yes, we are grieving. Yes, we are struggling. It takes an enormous act of courage to wake up every day to be who we are and do what we do.
To Black women: I validate our suffering. And I encourage rest. We deserve to rest.
Sirry Alang is an associate professor of sociology and health, medicine, and society at Lehigh University.