Hey, remember the Far Side cartoon about the boneless chicken ranch? That was really funny. You know what's not so funny? Eyeless crabs:

Gulf of Mexico fishermen, scientists and seafood processors have told Al Jazeera they are finding disturbing numbers of mutated shrimp, crab and fish that they believe are deformed by chemicals released during BP's 2010 oil disaster.

Along with collapsing fisheries, signs of malignant impact on the regional ecosystem are ominous: horribly mutated shrimp, fish with oozing sores, underdeveloped blue crabs lacking claws, eyeless crabs and shrimp - and interviewees' fingers point towards BP's oil pollution disaster as being the cause.

Tracy Kuhns and her husband Mike Roberts, commercial fishers from Barataria, Louisiana, are finding eyeless shrimp.

"At the height of the last white shrimp season, in September, one of our friends caught 400 pounds of these," Kuhns told Al Jazeera while showing a sample of the eyeless shrimp.

Definitely not for the seafood lover in you. I have followed the aftermath of the BP oil spill -- which happened exactly two years ago -- pretty closely, and I can assure you it's nothing like those sunny BP-sponsored commercials you see on TV. The spill and perhaps more importantly the efforts to contain the spill caused long-lasting environmental damage to this precious natural resource, and the Obama administration is highly complicit, especially in the cover-up.

Maybe next year Red Lobster, instead of its "endless shrimp" promotion, can change that to "eyeless shrimp." But since none of this fits conveniently into the political narrative, you won't hear very much about this.

We now return you to the war on women.