Inlaws and the holidays

I enjoyed reading the responses to my Wednesday column on mothers-in-law and daughters-in-laws. There is a lot of wisdom out there about how to navigate what, unfortunately, can be a dicey relationship. My favorite was from a New Jersey man  who shared an anecdote about how his first wife learned to get along with his mother:  "Both my mother and her were outspoken, and mom gave her a little trinket once with a saying, something to the effect of being careful to chose your words because you may have to eat them. Years later, whenever things would start to head towards a confrontation, my ex would silently bring out the trinket and place it in front of my mother - both women would then smile knowingly, and most of the time (but certainly not always) peace would prevail."

I also heard from Jenna D. Barry, author of A Wife's Guide to In-laws:  How to Gain Your Husband's Loyalty Without Killing His Parents (available at www.WifeGuide.org). After reading my piece which mentioned how hard the holidays can be on inlaw relationships. she came up with a list of tips. In the spirit of peace and harmony, I've listed them: