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Hold those calls, Sandusky watchers, 'Reality' not free or PG

Jerry Sandusky's lawyer urges the public to dial 1-800 number that is anything but free.

Hats off to those dirty minds at Deadspin, for catching this big one way before I could have: That 1-800-REALITY number tossed off by Jerry Sandusky's attorney this morning is ... wait for it ... a gay sex line.

Tomorrow's column will deal with all things Sandusky -- big surprise, I think he's a coward for punting on the preliminary hearing. I'll say more then, but had to stop writing and risk blowing my own deadline to hail this latest gem from Sandusky's loose-lipped lawyer, Joseph Amendola.

(Will someone get this man a reality show already?)

Amendola was being interviewed by reporters after the non-hearing when he got to talking about the chief witness in the case against Sandusky, former assistant Mike McQueary.

What follows is a transcript of the lawyer's remarks from Inquirer sports intern Jake Kaplan, who's been all over this story for us in Happy Valley:

"I have to say this about Tim Curley and Gary Schultz and Coach Paterno," Amendola said. "They're not my personal friends, so I don't speak from a friendship standpoint. They are very good people. They are very conservative people. They are people who care about kids. If you think for a minute, if anyone is naïve enough to think for a minute that Tim Curley, Joe Paterno and Gary Schultz, and for that matter Graham Spanier, the University President, were told by Mike McQueary that he observed Jerry Sandusky having anal sex with a 10-year-old looking kid in the shower on Penn State property and their response was simply to tell Jerry Sandusky 'don't go in the shower any more with kids,' I suggest you call 1-800-reality because that makes absolutely no sense."

Deadspin staffers did as they were told and reported on the attorney's most unforunate -- or intentional - slip of the tongue. Behold, what you hear when you call 1-800-REALITY:

Hey guys, welcome to the hottest place for triple-X action. Get ready for bulging, bursting pleasure with horny gay, bi, and bi-curious studs.

Alas, this 800-number was no freebie. REALITY costs 99 cents a minute. (Imagine putting that call on an expense report!)

Begs the question what would have happened if Amendola would have directed listeners to any number of other numbers, such as 1-800-BADLAWYER, 1-866-SUPERFREAK or 1-888-DESPERATELYSEEKINGAPLEADEAL.

I didn't dial any of them. I'm afraid of what I'd find on the other line.

-- Monica Yant Kinney

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