In a wacky but sort of just sentence, former state Supreme Justice Joan Orie Melvin was ordered Tuesday to pen handwritten apologies to every judge in the Commonwealth.
On photographs of herself.
It's sort of like the nightmare version of those old Hollywood photos stars signed for fans.
And suitable, if you will, for framing.
Allegheny County Court of Common Pleas Judge Lester Nauhaus sentenced Orie Melvin to three years' house arrest followed by two years' probation. Orie Melvin and sister Janine Orie were found guilty of using judicial staff to work on her 2003 and 2009 judicial campaign. They were also found guilty of using the staff of another sister, former state Sen. Jane Orie.
(This is the place where we feel compelled to name all nine of the Orie siblings, each with a name beginning with the letter J: June, Joan, Janine, Jane, Joy, Jack, James, Jerome, Joseph and the late Judith.)
Orie Melvin must also work in a soup kitchen three times a week and can only leave her Pittsburgh-area home for church.
Nauhaus ordered an official county photographer to snap the handcuffed image and, in a piece of divine justice, Orie Melvin must pick up the cost.
Frankly, we're kind of loving this sort of justice. Our only regret is that Judge Nauhaus was not available for Bonusgate and other sentencing matters for convicted former elected officials.