- Hey, sorry guys, even Secret Service Agents need to use the bathroom. So what's the president doing no--OH MY GOD MR. PRESIDENT LOOK OUT A CYBORG ASSASSIN FROM THE FUTURE.
**unloads weapon into extremely friendly Japanese robot**
- The quirky minor league baseball uniform trope isn't worth pointing out much anymore, but every time I think that, like just now, some team like the Inland Empire 66ers goes and has a Zombie Apocalypse night.
- Michael Pineda will be suspended 10 games, or two starts, for having pine tar brazenly displayed on his neck. Fortunately for him, there are alternatives available.
- Jabari Parker enjoys being compared to Carmelo Anthony, and takes it a step further by laying a sick burn on the Knicks.
- You won't believe how detailed the Buffalo Bills' cheerleader handbook is. You think you will, but you'll click this, and you won't.
Yeah, take that, Athletics!
Baseball is silly.
- Never sillier than when a position player is pitching and an umpire is drunk I guess?
- The 49ers' Aldon Smith won't face felony charges for making a bomb threat in an airport. So.
- Oh my gosh I almost forgot.