Star Trek: Into Darkness debuts in theaters in the coming weeks, and whether you like sci-fi, Chris Pine's Malcolm Reynolds-esque debonairness, or lens flare, you'll probably going to see it.

One of the best things about the movie - one of the best things about all movies - is that ESPN First Take's Stephen A. Smith doesn't have a role in it.

Well, some producer somewhere decided to break that streak and have Smith play all of the roles in Into Darkness, just to see what would happen if a movie became as loud and opinionated as possible (without also featuring Skip Bayless).