A little while back I came up with this goofy idea about turning the Phillies into characters from baseball movies as part of Zoo With Roy's awesome "The Phillies As..." series: The Phillies As Your Office Coworkers, The Phillies As Disney Songs, The Phillies As Jurassic Park (3-D!) Characters, just to name a few.
Here is a sampling of what I came up with, and head over to ZWR's bolg to check out the full list:
The Phillies as Characters from Baseball Movies
Roy Halladay is Henry Rowengartner from Rookie of the Year
Roy Halladay has dominated baseball for a long time. An eight-time All-Star, two-time Cy Young winner, a perfect game in 2010, and a no-hitter in his first-ever playoff start. Not to mention over 2,000 career strikeouts that led to just as many (if not more) broken faces. The city has been enamored with his professionalism and work ethic since he came to town in 2010. He was the inspiration for the world's greatest and most awesomest bolg in the universe (duh).
To get to the point, Halladay has been one of the best pitchers in baseball for some time now. Much like how Henry Rowengartner dominated fools in the movie Rookie of the Year after he broke his arm and it morphed into a rocket launcher. Henry went along doing his best Doc impersonation in the big leagues until he rolled on a baseball, fell to the ground, and the tendons in his arm snapped back into place. He simply lost his mojo.
As sad as it is to say, Roy Halladay has lost his mojo. But you know what? Henry was still able to record the final three outs with the help of the hidden ball trick and a solid floating underarm pitch. The kid was still able to produce despite losing what made him who he was throughout the movie. Halladay has been struggling for the past year, but who is to stay he can't find other ways to get it done? If Henry and THE CUBS were able to get World Series rings, the hardest working guy in baseball should get one too. Don't worry, he'll pull a "Rowengartner" once he's back.
Jimmy Rollins is Willie Mays Hayes from Major League
Willie Mays Hayes oozed confidence. The guy had swagger for days. The same can and should be said about Jimmy Rollins. Hayes had a penchant for stealing bases, and I bet a young Rollins also nailed batting gloves to a wall in his house for each base he swiped.
Rollins also, like Hayes, tries to hit for power when he should probably use his speed to leg out grounders. And what does it often lead to? A stuuupid popup. The only difference is Rollins jogs it out instead of plopping down for a set of push-ups. Charlie Manuel should take a page out of Lou Brown's book and make Rollins hit the dirt following an easy out.
Kyle Kendrick is Smalls from The Sandlot
At the beginning of The Sandlot, Smalls is pretty lost when it comes to baseball. "I thought you meant the Great Bambi," he famously said during a conversation about "The Great Bambino" Babe Ruth. He also, literally, kept his eye on the ball when having a catch with his step-dad which led to a big slab of beef to the face to hold off swelling around his eye. But after Benny Franklin Rodriguez perfectly places a well-hit ball into Smalls' glove, the little dude is one of the gang. And for the rest of the movie he is a pretty good baseball player. Like... WHAT?! That's it?
For a good portion of his career, Kyle Kendrick has been, metaphorically speaking, holding a slab of beef around his eye to prevent swelling. He's shown signs of being a solid major-league pitcher, but he's also looked like Smalls trying to throw a baseball for the first time.
Around the 2012 All-Star break, Kendrick must have had a Smalls-catching-Benny-the-Jet's-fly-ball-like moment because he's been a pretty darn good pitcher since. Seriously, like... WHAT?! Kyle Kendrick?
Kyle Kendrick is also Mel Clark from Angels in the Outfield
Seriously, is Kyle Kendrick getting help from angels like Tony Danza's character, Mel Clark, in Angels in the Outfield? I mean, KY-LE KEN-DRICK is the most consistent starting pitcher for the Phillies right now? (pounds head against keyboard)
Cliff Lee is Kelly Leak from The Bad News Bears