Handing out 10 awards from the Eagles-Broncos game
The Giorgio Armani Visor of Splendor Award: Nick Foles
One positive that we can take away from this game is that Nick Foles was sporting an awesome new clear visor. That is great news for any of you who have ever created yourself in Madden and given yourself all the sweet accessories, like elbow bands, the "RB Bull" facemask, low-cut socks, eye paint, tattoos, and of course, a visor. Kudos to you, Nick Foles. You always look cooler in a visor.
The Jerry Rice Award for Receiving Dominance: Jeff Maehl
In the Eagles' final drive that slashed the Broncos' commanding 39 point lead to a much more tenuous 32 point nail-biter, Jeff Maehl caught two passes from Nick Foles, including a TD score. It's hard to say if Maehl is talented enough to compete for more playing time or if he was just temporarily inspired by Nick Foles' visor, but I think it's fair to say that Jerry Rice is nervous that his receiving records are in jeopardy.
The "Screw You, Peyton Manning" Award: Peyton Manning
In the week leading up to this game, Peyton Manning complained that the Eagles had 12 days of rest and preparation for this game, while the Broncos only had 6. Shut up, Peyton. That's like Bill Gates complaining that the heated seats in his Bentley are set to 82 degrees, instead of the preferred 85.
The “At Least the Awful NFC East Remains Awful” Award: The Eagles, Cowboys, Washington team, and Giants
The NFL East has a combined record of 4-12. Collectively, they're the 2012 Eagles.
The Giants have lost their last two games by a combined score of 69-7. The Washington team won today, which proves that at least they're not "Lose to the Raiders' backup QB bad." Instead, they're just good ol' "regular bad." And the Cowboys lead the division with two wins… against the horri-awful Giants, and the Rams. So… yeah… The Eagles are still very much in the hunt to win the crapfest NFC East.
The Butterfingers Award: Brent Celek
Facing a key 3rd down in the Broncos red zone early on, Michael Vick fired a pass to Celek that was about shoulder high, right in Celek's mitts. Drop. I'm not sure if Celek would have scored on the play, but at the very least he would have been inside the Broncos' 3 with a first down. Instead, the Eagles had to settle for 3. Against a team like Denver, you have to be perfect. In the playoffs, you have to be perfect. I'll just be kind and say that Brent Celek is imperfect far too often. Celek is slated to make $4,075,000 next year. That's a nice chunk of change for a TE. The Eagles can cut him without any cap penalty, and will need to decide if he is worth that price tag next offseason. Celek is not helping his cause.
The “Opposite of Ballsy” Award: Chip Kelly
Eagles ball, 4th and 6 from the Denver 37, offense playing well, and the best offense in the league on the other sideline. There are two options here. Try a long FG attempt (54-55 yards), or go for it. Instead the Eagles punted, which resulted in a touchback (although it wound up at the 10 because of a Denver penalty). A 17 yard net (or 27 or whatever with the penalty) is of no benefit whatsoever. I thought we were getting a gambler in Chip Kelly. That was the equivalent of staying on 12 with the dealer showing a face card.
What is the opposite of ballsy? Squaresy? Chip Kelly was squaresy.
The “What’s Up with the Kicker” Award: Alex Henery
Part of the un-ballsy decision above probably had to do with a lack of confidence in Alex Henery. If you don't trust your kicker to kick a 55 yarder a mile above sea level, maybe the Eagles need to look for a kicker they do trust in that situation.
The “At Least We Made Your Punter Punt… TWICE!” Award: The Eagles defense
The Broncos scored touchdowns on 6 of their first 8 possessions. If you focus on those 6 possessions, you might think the Eagles defense had a bad day. But don't forget those 2 punts. They were awesome. The Eagles justified the Broncos' decision not to make their punter an inactive player for this game. #Winning.
The "Are You Kidding Me, FOX?!?" Award: FOX Sports
I live in North Jersey (NYC region), and at the conclusion of the 1pm Giants-Chiefs game, FOX moved to bonus coverage of the Seahawks-Texans OT game after Eagles-Broncos was already underway. OK, fine. I can understand that. But as soon as that game was over, FOX went to a string of commercials while the regularly scheduled game (Eagles-Broncos) was live. Apparently, similar instances occurred throughout the country. Really, FOX?!?!? You needed to run commercials during the Broncos' opening drive because you hadn't shown any in a typical amount of time? I understand that it's a business and you're not showing games because you want to make people happy, but come on. That's garbage.
The “Eagles Defense is So Bad...” Award: The Eagles defense
How bad are they, Jimmy?
The Eagles defense is so bad that they're on pace to give up 7148 yards this season. The 2012 Saints gave up 7042 yards, which was the worst total in NFL history.
Not appearing at today's award show were Broncos LB Von Miller and LT Ryan Clady, who are clearly among the Broncos' 5 best players. Oh, and Champ Bailey couldn't make it either. They send their regrets.