What you give as a gift says a lot.

So this Christmas, I receive several interesting presents; lots and lots of scented products. Is someone trying to tell me something?
 
I gave my daughter’s babysitter a collection of eye shadows and lipgloss from Sephora. She was initially happy, but then she says, “Do you really think I need all this?”
 
Good intentions go far.  Sort of. My husband says, “Honey, I got you something for Christmas that is battery operated for the bedroom”.  We have been married for 6 years, so I gamely, diplomatically say, “OK” (first part of word is neutral, middle part goes way down, and then the last part goes way up.)
 
I know it can’t be what we are all thinking (Yes. You were thinking of it too), especially since he said it in front of my step-daughter.
 
Turns out it is a Zeo Personal Sleep Coach (battery operated, ahem), which uses a wireless headband, a bedside display and set of analytical tools to figure out and analyze the quality of your sleep.
 
I don’t need a machine to tell me that I sleep lousily. The baby keeps me awake with coughing and crying. Right when I am REMing, someone decides to flush the toilet above our room. Later in the night, when I am having the dream of a lifetime: my house is clean, I am three months ahead with the video production, my belly is a 6 pack…a scream pierces my happy place. The baby is awake and here we go again….reality!
 
Immediately after I open the Zeo, which looks like a high tech alarm clock, I am thinking these thoughts. So I ask my husband if this Zeo machine is returnable. He looks crestfallen. OK. I say. Again. I will try it out tonight.
 
Out of 100 points on the Zeo machine, whereby 100 is the best quality sleep, I score a 21. That makes my convictions about my poor quality of sleep even more concrete. The number makes me depressed. I know I didn’t sleep well, but this machine brings it home to me and gives me failing grade.
 
My husband is very eager to analyze my sleep patterns. He is convinced that there is some hidden, high tech answer to my travails. There isn’t. When the baby sleeps through the night, when I get more (any) exercise, and when I am not reading a great book before bed, I can sleep on time and so beautifully. There is no high tech answer!
 
After getting my failing score of 21, my husband re-reads the directions and declares I must wear this wireless headband on my noggin’ for 6 more days to get an accurate reading. Accurate? You sleep like crap. That will be the conclusion to the sixth degree.
 
Will keep you posted on my sleep strategies, if you aren’t snoozing already.
 
Happy New Year and Good night!