Byko: Bill Green won't run

Before Election Day dropped dead, political writers started scrounging for fresh angles. In the Daily News, our peerless John Baer found one in the (let's-pretend) challenge to Democratic mayoral nominee Jim Kenney from Bill Sulk-in-the-Corner Green.

Baer wasn't the only one to grasp at this straw, but Green running is as likely as me running — again. (Thanks to the late John Sherlock for the splendid campaign pin graphic.)

A poll watcher in the 5th Ward tells me someone wrote in my name for mayor.

It wasn't me, but I would have a better chance than Bill Green. (I don't know who Green dislikes more — Kenney or me.)

Why would a green light to Green be a suicide mission? Name Green's base. (Same question I asked about Lynne Abraham.)

Kenney's got the unions, the progressives, the teachers, the minorities, the women, the guys, the left-handed Albanian plasterers, the PACs.

Green's got, um, the sons-of-congressmen? Kenney won 55 percent of the vote — better than Ed Rendell or Michael Nutter did. At this point, he is a runaway train. There is no stopping him.

While Baer milks the speculation for all it's worth, at the end he quotes an unnamed pundit describing such a race as "two white Irish guys vying for the black vote and only one has a 'D' beside his name."

As Philadelphia has shown endless times, a "D" is pretty much all you need.

Independent Sam Katz came close once to beating a "D," but he fell short and he wasn't dragging 25 percent of Bill Green's baggage.

Green may enjoy toying with the press and pundits, but he won't run.

If he does, I'll ride a bicycle from here to New Hope — with Kenney in the front basket. And with a monkey in his lap. And the monkey will be juggling coconuts.